


Filterless

by 3ALover



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, First Kiss, Friendship, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic, Multi, Relationship Problems, Sexual Content, Silly, Truth Spells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-15 06:58:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17524016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ALover/pseuds/3ALover
Summary: TCC falls under a truth spell during the middle of a mens group training session with Tracy. Everybody inside the rink at the time the enchantment was cast is incapable of not telling the truth or of keeping from blurting out whatever they are thinking. Can the men (and lady) of the Cricket Club discover the source of this terrible curse, or will they go around blurting things out and confessing secrets for the rest of their days?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes the idea is absurd and the summary is terrible, but this is what happens when I am on a business trip and I cannot figure out how to turn on the subtitles of my hotel room television. I wrote this first chapter in under and hour and since I cannot sleep, I decided to post it. The English is unchecked so hopefully I done okay. Hopefully my boredom killing helps you guys.
> 
> Also, as stressful as Javi skating soon is, maybe a laugh will help?

The problem began when Brian seemed extra harsh while watching the guys run through stroking practice with Tracy. Nobody knew why he kept making comments about somebody having shitty edges or not having deep enough knees. He usually kept that to himself until the end of the session to discuss calmly. He seemed surprised at his own harshness, but nothing about that made him stop yelling near-insults across the ice. 

What really alerted them to something being wrong was when Tracy stopped in the middle of a pattern and turned to him and yelled, “Brian, shut up and let me teach my skaters. You get your time, I get my time. Get off the ice if you’re just gonna fuss at the boys like your old ass could do half as well.” 

Literally everybody stopped. Tracy had never insulted anyone in her life, they all thought. Brian looked _startled_. “W-what?”

Tracy looked just as shocked. “I have no idea why I said that!” She looked around. “I’m so sorry, guys. I’m usually able to keep that stuff in my head- shit,” she said, then gave Brian an apologetic look. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m so sorry. It’s like I have no filter!”

“Yeah I like you better with a filter,” Brian blurted out, then snapped his mouth shut. “I… didn’t mean to say that either.”

“This is really, really weird,” Yuzuru said, crossing his arms. “Usually you do not fight, now you act like me and sister,” he said, then frowned. “I not mean say that. Weird.”

“Yeah, usually you just complain about them behind their backs, not to their faces,” Javier said, then gasped. “Okay, what’s going on?! I didn’t mean to say that!”

Jason skated over. “Guys, I think something is wrong with you. I mean more than what’s usually wrong like being drama queens-“ Jason gasped and put a hand over his mouth. “Oh my God, I didn’t mean to call you all drama queens even if you are- crap!”

Conrad doubled over laughing. “Oh my God, it’s got Jason, too! Finally we get to hear what he really thinks when he acts like he’s too nice to admit we’re all assholes.” Conrad frowned. “Wait, what?”

“At least Jason will listen to me and let me vent when I’m sad and not wimp out like you, you useless friend,” Junhwan said at his side, only go gape. “I don’t mean it, you are good friend, you just do not listen well sometime- oh my God, what is happening to us?!” 

Joseph whistled. “Damn, I wondered when Jun would go off, but I didn’t think it would be involuntary.” He looked around. “Shit, I didn’t mean to say that out loud either!”

There was a moment of panic when they all started blurting things out and blabbering and asking what was going on before Tracy shouted. “QUIET!” They all looked at her. “Let’s get out of the public area and figure out what the heck is happening,” she said, and Brian nodded.

“My office now, guys.”

 

~

They all sat in silence, clearly afraid that if they spoke it would be filterless again. “Somebody has to say something, guys. We’ve gotta figure out what’s going on,” Brian said gently. 

When nobody spoke up, he looked at Tracy helplessly. “I know,” Yuzuru said, looking around the office. “Let’s test it! If we really cannot have ‘filter’ or tell lie, we ask and person confess. If person does not confess, we are not curse.”

Javier nodded. “Okay, but who? And how do we make sure nobody says something really hurtful or dangerous?” 

They were all quiet for a moment before Junhwan smiled. “I know! Jason!” They all looked at Jason, who looked nervous. “Jason never thinks mean things and he is an open book, so he probably has no really bad secrets to spill.”

“Um, maybe?” Jason said, grimacing. “Do I have to?”

Yuzuru nodded. “It is good idea, you have sweetest brain of all people here. You too good and nice to say bad bad something.” He looked at Brian, who looked doubtful. 

“Okay, say you ask him and he confesses. What are you going to ask that’s mild and not too personal?” he asked.

Conrad perked up. “I know!” He looked at Jason. “Jason, what’s a harmless secret you’ve never told anybody?” he asked, and Jason’s eyes widened in panic and he slapped a hand over his mouth. “Oh come on, it can’t be anything bad if it’s harmless.”

Jason dropped his hand and his mouth started moving before he could try to stop it. “I LOST MY VIRGINITY AT THE SOCHI OLYMPICS!” He yelped and smacked his hands over his mouth again.

Everybody chuckled and Yuzuru smiled. “That nothing ‘big’, lot of people do sex at Olympics.”

Jason’s hands dropped again and he looked desperate for them to come back to his face. “IN A THREESOME WITH GUS KENWORTY AND DAISUKE TAKAHASHI- AHHHH!” Jason screamed, then covered his entire face with his hands this time. 

There was silence so thick you could hear a pin drop. “With _who_?!” Javier asked, gaping. “Oh my God.”

Conrad looked horrified. “I didn’t expect that, I’m so sorry, oh my God.”

“You had sex with _Daisuke Takahashi_?” Joseph asked, eyes wide. “Whoa! I can’t believe you slept with another figure skater before!”

“I’ve had sex with two other figure skater- NO!” Jason clamped his hands over his mouth, shaking his head rapidly. 

“Oh? Who?” Javi blurted out, only to then pale. “No, no, no, don’t say it, I’m sorry, it slipped-“

Jason whined but whatever was compelling them to speak made it impossible to stay quiet. “Max Aaron and Shoma Uno,” he confessed weakly, then doubled over, hiding his face against his knees. “Well,” he said, voice muffled. “I would say none of us have a filter or can lie.”

“SHOMA?!” Yuzuru spluttered, then flushed. He visibly was trying not to speak, but couldn’t hold it in. “Why anybody want do _that_?! Shoma is… is… _Shoma_!”

“We hook up when we have competitions together,” Jason blurted out, voice muffled by his pants. “It started when he was eighteen and we were at Skate America and we were talking and I brought up liking boys and he said he never thought about it before and then asked if I’d kiss him to see if he liked it and it went further and we had sex in my hotel room while Kori was out getting food and she caught us getting dressed and we both stopped talking for like a month even though we talk all the time but then we were in the same place again and ended up hooking up again and now it just happens every time and-“

“Someone, anyone, start talking about something else to cut him off,” Brian groaned, covering his face. “This is pretty freaking terrible, guys.”

“Patrick Chan hate me so much because he try get me to sleep with him at Sochi and I refuse him,” Yuzuru blurted out, then gasped and whimpered. “Oh no, not me!”

“I cheated on a girl with her sister in high school- _Mierda_ why is it all about sex?!” Javi said, groaning in frustration. 

“Wow, classy,” Joseph said flatly. 

“Why is it just the grown-ups?” Tracy asked without choosing to, looking at Joseph, Junhwan, and Conrad.

“Probably none of us ever sex and that’s the topic right now,” Joseph said, then flushed and ducked his head. 

“Neither has Yuzuru,” Javier said, then grimaced when Yuzuru glared and elbowed him in the ribs. “What?! I can’t choose what I say!”

“You so bad, bad friend,” Yuzuru hissed. “I tell you that for secret!”

“No, you told him that to try and get him to offer to sleep with you,” Tracy said, then gasped in horror, bodily turning to face the wall. “Oh my God, this is terrible!”

Javier frowned. “Wait, huh?” he asked, looking at Yuzuru, who was staring at Tracy in horror.

“Yeah, it’s pretty fucking obvious, let’s be real,” Conrad said, and a hum of approval came from almost everybody.

“Language!” Tracy said, turning back around. 

Jason hummed. “I mean, can you blame him?” he asked, then his eyes widened. “I just mean you’re really hot. I mean your charm is irresistible. I MEAN YOUR VOICE IS SEXY. AH!” Jason panicked, grabbing a cushion off the couch to try and smother himself.

Javier just smirked. “Why thank you.”

“Yeah, okay, that’s pretty hot,” Conrad agreed, and Junhwan nodded.

“Almost as hot as you in sweatpants- NO!” Junhwan panicked and flew to his feet. “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!” he cried as he ran from the office. “I QUIT, BYE!”

“Good idea,” Jason decided, running after him, but going the other direction. 

Brian looked around at everybody else and sighed. “Maybe we should all call it a day. Just- just be careful who you talk to at home. Maybe go home and go straight to bed.”

“Yep! See ya!” Joseph said, jumping up to go get his things.

“Good plan,” Conrad mumbled, all but sprinting for the locker room.

“I live alone so I’m fine,” Javier said simply.

Yuzuru’s eyes widened in dawning horror. “I cannot go home this way. Mother is there.”

Brian grimaced. “Alright, maybe you should come spend the night with one of us. Say we’re talking strategy?”

Tracy chuckled. “Good luck, Brian. I’m not dealing with him, that’s for sure,” she said and then turned to leave.

Javi smirked at Brian and saluted as he stood up. “Good luck dealing with a mouthy Yuzu.”

“Oh like you are not ten time worse of me,” Yuzuru grumbled, glaring at him on his way to go get his things and meet Brian to go home. 

Brian put his head in his hands and groaned. “Fuck, I’ll be bald by morning,” he mumbled into his palms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still getting choked up over Javi and it has been 24 hours nearly. *sobs*

“I never go to your house before,” Yuzuru said as they drove into the garage. “Wow, you have big house.”

Brian sighed. “I know,” he said, already sick of Yuzuru’s lack of filter. The whole ride, Yuzuru said whatever came into his head. It was a bit frustrating to say the least. “Just- just let me explain to Raj,” he said, as he got out of the car. 

He led the way inside, greeting the dogs when they came running. He smiled at them. “Good babies,” he said, then looked back at Yuzuru, who looked hesitant. “Don’t worry, they’re not aggressive.” He headed into the kitchen. “Raj? I’m home.”

“In the living room, Dear!”

Yuzuru snickered. “Cute.”

“Don’t you dare,” Brian said flatly, then led the way sighing heavily. “Raj, we have a guest and I’ve had a _day_ ,” he said, relaxing some when he saw his partner sitting on the couch with a book in his hands. “Before you ask or say anything, just know, something really, really weird has happened and everybody that was at the rink tonight can’t lie or hold in any thoughts. If I say something mean, I really didn’t mean to,” he warned, flopping down beside Raj, leaning into his side for comfort.

“What?” Raj asked, looking skeptical.

“Ask him,” he said, pointing to Yuzuru, who was standing in the doorway awkwardly. “Also he’s staying tonight. Because he’s blurting out truths and whatever he thinks and his mother might have a heart attack if she hears the things he’s saying.”

Raj chuckled. “Are you two playing a game? You can’t be serious.”

“It serious,” Yuzuru said, then bowed quickly. “Hello, Sorry I bother you.”

Raj hummed. “Okay, so what ‘truths’ and ‘thoughts’ are you blurting out then, Yuzuru?” he asked.

Yuzuru flushed and tried to clamp his mouth shut, but it was too late. “One time I try to seduce Boyang Jin and he think I am complimenting jumps so I cried!” He slapped his hands over his mouth and squeaked. 

Brian snorted, closing his eyes. “Yeah, that makes sense.” He groaned. “Yuzuru, you think you can find where the guest room is?”

“Yes! I go there now! BYE!” he shouted, then ran up the stairs without any further hesitation. 

~

It actually took Yuzuru a few tries to find the guest room. He had a change of clothes in his bag so he didn’t hesitate to go shower and change. He crawled onto the bed and took out his phone. He quickly texted his mother a selfie with the message, “I’m staying over at Coach Brian’s house. We needed to talk about things and it’s getting late. Goodnight!” He then opened LINE and glared as he angrily texted Shoma.

_Why did you never tell me you’re gay, too?! You’re a terrible friend!_

He put his phone down and crossed his arms, thinking about that betrayal, but it dinged with a message that couldn’t be from Shoma. He picked it up and flushed when he saw Javier had messaged him. He grimaced and opened it carefully.

_To: Yuzuru  
From: Javi_

_What did Tracy mean about you wanting me to sleep with you?_

Yuzuru was _mortified_. Thankfully, however, he learned that they could still lie and keep secrets when messaging.

_To: Javi  
From: Yuzuru_

_Do not worry about it. Is just gossip. You know what people gossip about us._

Yuzuru closed his eyes and pretended that never happened.

_To: Yuzuru  
From: Javi_

_But it was Tracy, not people._

Yuzuru groaned.

_To: Javi  
From: Yuzuru_

_Seriously not a big thing. Stop asking. Go sleep._

Yuzuru turned off his phone rather than deal with that. He flopped around, whining. He couldn’t believe everybody _knew_ he wanted Javi. He thought he was subtle. He thought nobody would ever work out how secretly in love with his friend he had been for years now. Hell, he had hoped Javi retiring would mean a little distance – even though he hated the thought of never seeing him – but when he came back to shadow the coaches and help out to learn how to be a coach, Yuzuru couldn’t stop falling deeper than ever. Watching the man he loved picking up fallen children and brushing the ice off their knees did things to him he didn’t know were possible. 

It was unfair, he thought. Why did the truth curse have to hit the ones of them on the ice? How did a truth curse even happen? _Was_ it a truth curse? Maybe they were exposed to some weird chemical. Yeah, that had to be it. Who would cast a curse on them all to make them unable to hide their thoughts? What would happen for their training until they could work out what to do? Silent training? Yuzuru didn’t speak sign language, and even then, he was pretty sure it was different in different countries. 

Yuzuru whined, hiding his face in the pillow. “I should have done summer ice shows instead of early training.”

~

Brian let himself into the guest room and was amused to see a lump under the covers still. It was nearly eight o’ clock. “Yuzuru? How are you still asleep?” He tugged the covers more fully over his head and Brian sighed. “You’re awake?”

“If I do not leave I do not confess thing in public,” Yuzuru grumbled under the covers.

Brian chuckled and patted him on the hip. “Come on. I’ve asked everybody to come in to meet at the rink that was there last night. See if we all still have the crap I sure still have.”

“What you do to know?” Yuzuru asked, then his head popped out of the bed. “I do not mean to say that! Nooo, I still have it,” he said, pouting.

Brian grimaced. “Let’s just say I was a little too honest and now Raj is mad and leave it at that.” He nodded his head to the door. “Not come on. Time to get up and get to the rink. We need to deal with this.”

Yuzuru whined dramatically and tugged the covers over his head again. “Whyyyyyy?” he wailed and Brian rolled his eyes. He was getting sick of dealing with these kids. They were real pains sometimes. 

~

Jason was beyond unhappy about getting a call early in the morning to meet at the rink. He had said so much he could never take back and keep secret again last night. Even if none of it was that serious, it was _private_ and embarrassing. When he got to Brian’s office, the others were all there already. He smiled sheepishly for dragging his feet all morning and being the last one there. “I’m sorry I’m late,” he said, going to sit on the arm of the couch beside Yuzuru, who looked equally unhappy about having to be there. 

Tracy looked at Brian, who nodded. “Okay. So. We obviously can’t have our junior and senior men all unable to train. Brian and I decided what we’ll do is stick to having you guys train off ice for a few days. We’ll give you each individual ice time, but we’ll work via writing it on a white board what we think or suggest to you,” she said, picking up a large white board. “We discovered last night we can still not be cruel or say things we shouldn’t via writing or typing or texting or whatever.”

“Oh thank God!” Jason blurted out, then slapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry, I just went straight home and went to bed and turned my phone off and haven’t turned it back on, I was too afraid.”

“Yeah, thank God is right,” Tracy said, grimacing. “So that’s what we’ll do. Don’t talk to each other. Try not to interact at all. At the gym, everybody keep your headphones in and just try to avoid interaction.”

“Damn, half the time we chat at the gym,” Javi said, looking at the others. “We compete and stuff. This will really be difficult.”

“Tough shit,” Brian said bluntly. “Unless you guys want to go around confessing more stuff to each other or criticizing your techniques, I suggest you keep quiet.”

“Can do!” Yuzuru said urgently. “I will go train now, bye!” he said, all but sprinting out of the room to go to the gym. 

Jason cleared his throat and nodded. “Yeah. Okay. The gym should be safe I guess,” he said, sharing a nervous look with the others. 

~

The gym may have been safe for Jason, Yuzuru thought grimly, but it was not safe for all of them. Especially not when Javi and Jason both had a tendency to wipe their faces with their shirts while they lifted weights. 

Yuzuru wasn’t alone, however. Jun Hwan and both the junior boys stood motionless on the treadmills they all were on, staring blankly. “It is like they do not realize,” Jun Hwan said blankly. 

“Can you turn gay?” Conrad blurted out. “Like, can over-exposure to abs turn you gay? I’m pretty sure I’m straight, but… God.”

“I am straight and even I can’t stop staring,” Joseph said, blinking slowly. “How do you achieve abs like that? I need to know their secrets.”

“I always suffer this,” Yuzuru said tiredly. “Abs. Always. Right there. Right in front. Now _more_ abs!”

“I thought I had decent abs,” Conrad said, tugging his shirt up a little only to pout at his flat but otherwise barely sculpted tummy.

“At least you are still teenage boy. Jason do not have abs your age,” Yuzuru said, thinking back to how skinny Jason used to be. “You may grow them. I still skinny and I _older_ ,” he whined. 

Jun nodded. “Yeah, then when you grew chest muscles, they kind of look like boobs instead.” He groaned, smacking himself in the face, but Yuzuru just glared.

“My chest do not look like _boob_!” he complained, crossing his arms over his chest protectively. 

“Kinda does,” Joseph said with an apologetic shrug. “You kind of have a hot girl’s body, apart from the obvious male parts. It’s pretty weird.”

“I do not!” Yuzuru whined, glaring and pouting. 

“You have a rounder ass than Jun, and that’s saying something,” Conrad said, then flushed and laughed. “OH look, I found my headphones!” He put them on and scrambled away from the useless treadmill, booking it for the weights. 

Yuzuru made a confused face and looked at Jun, who was bright red. “What this about?”

“NOTHING!” Jun said, then instantly hit the buttons on the treadmill to turn it on and start running loudly.

Yuzuru looked over at Joseph who rolled his eyes. “Teenage gay panic is what is happening. Just ignore it. I sure do.”

Yuzuru turned on his treadmill and started a light jog to get warmed up before he would run, only to nearly get shot off the machine when he looked over and Jason had taken his shirt off entirely, tucking it into his pants to go stand in front of the mirror and flex to check out his arms. “Will you stop this?!” Yuzuru snapped, glaring harshly.

Jason turned around, frowning and taking out an Air Pod. “Huh?”

“PUT ON CLOTHES!” he argued, hanging onto the treadmill and hopping so his feet were on either side of the moving part. “You and Javi, you keep showing abs and now you naked!”

Jason made a face. “We’re all men here, what does it matter?”

“YOU ARE GAY YOU SHOULD GET WHY IT NOT OKAY!” Yuzuru shouted in frustration, and Jason looked at the row of them and flushed when he realized how Jun was blushing, Conrad was staring enviously, and Yuzuru was bright red but angry. “Stop get naked. My gay ass not okay with hot boy naked all over the place!”

Javier snorted as he wiped his face with his shirt, flashing his abs. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you say you’re gay,” he said, and Yuzuru glared.

“Yeah, well, we all cannot lie. Not my fault I cannot stop outing self! Put shirt down, stupid muscle man! Jun is hit puberty over here, you will kill him!” he chastised and Jun, true to his word, was bright red and trying his best not to look at Javi and Jason. 

Jason blushed and instantly tugged his shirt back on. “Sorry, sorry guys. I didn’t think. I just wanted to see how I was developing in my arms.”

“Thank you,” Yuzuru said as he put the shirt back in place. Javier, however, just smirked and made a show of stripping his shirt over his head. “HABI!” he snapped, and Javier just winked.

“Maybe I can make you answer what you wouldn’t answer last night,” he said, and Yuzuru flushed and slapped a hand over his traitorous mouth before it could run away with him, then hopped off the machine and left the gym at a trot, trying to get clear of the room before he confessed things he shouldn’t ever confess.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even while at my mother's house I can post from my mobile when my friend approved my English!
> 
> This chapter is not what I planned for, but I like sad, Jason-center chapter!

The training with white boards wasn’t easy, but Jason thought it was going okay. He and Tracy had clicked over their first season together so he could understand what she was trying to say with her limited ability to talk about it. When he took a break, he went to the snack machines to get a protein bar, he discovered it wasn’t going to well for everybody. 

“Jun?” he asked, frowning when he found Jun leaning against the drink machine, sniffling. “Are you okay?” he asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

Jun looked up, smiling even though his eyes were red and it was clear he’d been crying. “Yeah. Yeah it’s fine.” He whimpered and blurted out, “Brian yelled at me for goofing off too much,” he said, then put a hand over his mouth. 

“Oh, you know he can’t help it.” He rubbed his back comfortingly. “It’s going to be okay.”

Jun sniffled. “I just hate disappointing Brian. He works so hard for all of us. When I hit my growth spurt he helped me adapt so much. I hate disappointing him.”

Jason tutted and opened his arms for a hug. Jun whimpered and hugged him. Jason chuckled at how _tall_ Jun was. He was a giant for a figure skater, and he was still just a kid. He was seventeen. Jason couldn’t imagine the pressure he was under to be seventeen, have grown so fast, and be living halfway around the world from home, and on top of that, affected by a stupid inability to keep secrets or tell lies. “Listen, all of this sucks a _lot_ right now. But if you need to talk you know you can talk to me and I’ll never tell what you say under this stupid ‘truth spell’,” he said soothingly. 

Jun wiped his eyes when they ended the hug and he blurted out, “It made me tell my mom I think I might like boys.” His face crumped and he started crying again and Jason groaned.

“God, I hate this truth crap,” he said, pulling him back into a hug. “Don’t worry. It’s gonna be fine. I’ve met your mom long enough to figure she didn’t take it too terribly, right?”

“She didn’t yell or scream at me but she didn’t want to talk about it,” Jun whimpered. “And I don’t even know for sure, so I didn’t have any reason to tell her, just this stupid truth thing!”

“I know,” Jason said, rubbing his back as he clung to Jason and cried. “It’s okay Jun. Give her time. Just remember no mother that would move all the way around the world for her son would refuse to try and understand.”

“I’m just scared. And confused,” Jun whined, standing up straight again pulling out of Jason’s hug. “Being a teenager sucks,” he said bluntly. 

Jason snorted. “Oh, I remember.” He patted him on the arm. “Don’t forget, I’m not that old yet.” He chuckled. “Being an elite figure skater on top of being a teenager just makes it harder. The good news is, you’ll get through it.”

Jun smiled weakly. “Thank you.”

Jason grinned. “Now come on. I think it’s time for some Starbucks. My treat!” Jun’s smile was more than worth it. 

~

Jun loved Jason. Everybody loved Jason, but Jun felt like Jason was the big brother he always had even if he had only known him a short while. It was impossible to not feel comfortable and supported when Jason gave you his full attention and really listened to you. Jun loved Yuzuru and Javi, but neither of them were as good at giving selfless attention to you. They were the type of ‘big brothers’ who hid your water bottle and ruffled your hair. Jason was the type that picked you up when you fell down and took you to fix you scrapes and bruises. It wasn’t just with Jun, he had noticed. Jason was so good with all the younger skaters. He acted like Evgenia was his family. He also brought out a weird, maternal side of Tracy they rarely saw before he got there. 

Overall, Jason was just impossible to not love.

That’s why, as they sat at Starbucks sipping drinks, he felt safe to talk to him even when he couldn’t lie or keep secret something that might pop into his head. “Hey, Jason?” Jason looked at him patiently. “How do you know if you’re gay?”

Jason gave the sweetest smile. “Well, I don’t think everybody realizes it the same way, but I pretty much always knew. I mean, I’m pretty much the stereotypical gay kid. I loved dancing and musicals and sparkles and just hanging out with girls when I was a little kid. The boys always made me feel different. It wasn’t hard to realize when I was in middle school that I didn’t like girls the way boys in my class did. And then it didn’t take long to realize I _did_ like boys the way girls in my class did. And I mean, I was lucky, my parents saw it in me and always encouraged us all to be open and free about who we are and trust that nothing could make them not love us. I told my mom I liked a boy in my history class when I was fifteen, and she just reassured me everything was okay.” He made a face. “I kinda got lulled into a false sense of security, because my naïve little self decided to give that cute boy a love letter, and obviously everybody found out and teased me and called me names and stuff. I had never been called the six-letter f-word before then, at least not to my face.”

Jun gaped. “That’s terrible.”

Jason shrugged. “It really wasn’t that bad for me. Yeah, I got picked on for a little while, but when I was sixteen I won Junior Nationals, and suddenly that mattered way more than being gay. Even if figure skating wasn’t the most popular sport, I was the only kid in school who had competed in a sport at the national level and on top of that, I won it.”

Jun looked down at his drink, frowning. “I don’t think I’m gay, but some boys are really cute,” he blurted out. “Maybe its because I’m around cute guys all the time and I’m at an impressionable age?”

Jason smiled in amusement. “Maybe. There isn’t just gay and straight. And sometimes you can think you’re one thing and something challenges that. I mean surely you’ve seen how Yuzuru affects some dudes who definitely thought they were straight,” he said, and Jun groaned, knowing exactly what he meant. 

“Even straight guys would fall to their knees when he does that little flirty smile. He’s not even that cute!” Jun said, then blushed. “Never tell him I said that.”

Jason giggled. “He’s pretty in a weird way, but I guess it’s his charm. He turns it on and suddenly a guy who is in his thirties and has never even glanced at a guy is going, ‘wait, holy shit, why am I into this?’” He nodded sagely. “Sexuality is fluid.”

Jun groaned. “It’s just annoying that I keep letting it slip that I find Conrad attractive. I don’t have a crush or anything, he’s just cute!”

Jason cooed. “Awww, it’s fine. He looks like a kid to me, but I can see how you would find him cute. He’s got a model face.” He smirked. “Besides, Javi is super hot to my gay ass and I don’t have a crush on him, lol.”

Jun made a face. “Javi’s old,” he said, and Jason groaned, clutching his chest like he was dying.

“That was so uncalled for, for real.” Jun smiled at Jason’s dramatics. “Listen, you’re young. You’re figuring things out. I know it’s scary but you’ll be fine on the other side, I promise you,” Jason said warmly.

Jun felt a lot better when they headed back to Jason’s car. When they got to his house, Jason pulled up out front and Jun looked at the door with trepidation. “What if my mom’s still ignoring me?” he asked nervously.

Jason reached over and squeezed his hand. “Just talk to her. She loves you. She’ll understand in time.”

Jun smiled tightly. “The fact you can’t lie makes me feel better about you saying that.”

~

Jason was tired when he got home. He had a long day and talking with Jun was worth it and good for him, but emotionally draining for Jason after such a long day. After a shower, all he wanted to do was go to bed. Instead, just as he faceplanted on the bed, his phone buzzed on the table. “Whyyyy?” he whined, then rolled over to pick it up. He groaned at the contact name, but answered. “It’s super late here. Learn time zones.”

“Yeah, well, you learn to not tell _Yuzuru_ that I’ve had sex with you,” Shoma grumbled in annoyance. “Seriously, I do a phone-time-out for two days to focus on jump training and come back to Yuzuru messaging me all the time asking why I never told him I’m gay or that I had sex with you before. What the hell, Jason?!”

Jason whimpered. “Shoma, it’s such a long story. I really can’t explain. I’m too tired.”

“You outed me! That’s not fair, Jason. Why would you do that?!””

Jason didn’t even fight the compulsion for truth. “This will sound insane but everyone there was on the ice for stroking practice the other night has been hit by some force that compels us to tell the truth and blurt out inner thoughts. They tested it on me thinking no secrets would be dangerous. I confessed that I lost my virginity in a threesome at Sochi with Gus Kenworthy and Daisuke Takahashi and then kept rambling and confessed I have been hooking up with you at competitions since you were eighteen.”

There was a long silence and the Shoma spoke. “Are you lying or did you actually have sex with Daisuke?” 

Jason snorted. “You little fanboy. That’s what you’re curious about? Yes, Shoma, I can’t lie. He was actually the first guy to ever touch my penis, even if Gus was like a minute later.”

“Holy shit!” Shoma said loudly. “So who all else has this truth thing?”

“Brian, Tracy, Javi, Yuzuru, Junhwan, and then the junior boys, Conrad and Joseph,” he explained.

“Oh wow Yuzuru without a filter that must be hell,” he said, then hummed. “Okay, if you can’t lie, I can finally get a straight answer out of you,” Shoma said seriously and Jason sat up quickly, paling.

“Shoma, don’t-“

“Why won’t you date me? I know you like me, you know I like you, we have had sex several times and seem compatible to me, and we talk at least once a week. You always get out of answering so now tell me the truth.”

Jason gritted his teeth but it didn’t help. “Because there is no point! We’re friends! And it won’t change much anyway because we’re not in love!” He flushed with anger. “Also it’s a jerk move to force me to answer you just because I can’t help myself, so even better of a reason not to date you, asshole!” 

“You don’t start dating someone you’re already in love with, you date to fall in love,” Shoma argued. “It’s not much different, sure, but unless you’re quiet about it, you’re not seeing anybody and haven’t since that one summer you were hooking up with that hockey player two years ago, so it’s not like you can have any less sex than you do now just because you have a long distance boyfriend!” 

Jason huffed. “You could date people without it being me. Just because I’m the only guy you’ve been with doesn’t mean anything.”

There was a long silence and Jason worried he had fucked up. When Shoma spoke again in a softer voice, he knew he had. “Why am I good enough for you to fuck a few times a year but not good enough to be your boyfriend?”

Jason could hear the hurt in his voice and felt _terrible_. “Sho…” he whispered, unsure of what to say. Inability to keep your thoughts to yourself didn’t do much when there was nothing in his head to blurt out but a terrible feeling of guilt. 

“Whatever, Jason. Just…whatever.” 

Shoma hung up on him and Jason felt like the worst person in the world.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ALMOST got the rating to go up this chapter but I decide to tease you longer <3

Yuzuru kept mostly to himself. He was too afraid of revealing his secrets if he confessed anything to anybody. From what he had overheard, however, it wasn’t going great for anybody else. He could tell a lot of them were just miserable, but nothing could have prepared him for _Jason_ going off on Javier, Conrad, and Joseph.

Yuzuru didn’t hear what they said, but everybody heard it when Jason started yelling. “LAY OFF OF HIM, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HE’S BEEN THOUGH!”

Activity stopped instantly. Yuzuru had been talking to Tracy and Brian, and all three of them spun around and gaped in shock at the sight of Jason standing face to face with Javier while Junhwan grabbed his elbow. “Jason, stop, it’s okay-“

“NO,” he snarled. “It’s not. And put your headphones back on before they ask you something you can’t lie about or keep inside. You don’t hear them speculating on why you’re so quiet today and making jokes about how “Junliet” is sad your Romeo hasn’t come after you mentioned you thought a guy was hot in front of us all and stupid fucking shit like!” 

Jun looked at the other ones with hurt eyes and they all looked guilty. “We’re sorry,” Javier blurted out. “But it’s just teasing. Innocent teasing-“

“Not if you know what he’s fucking going through like I do!” Jason snarled, then, amazingly, swapped to Japanese to keep them from knowing exactly what he was being compelled to blurt out. “ _He accidentally outed himself to his mother and it’s strained their relationship and he’s scared and confused and you don’t know what it’s like to be a teenager terrified of your sexuality and growing up and people looking at you like you’re a freak!_ ”

Conrad blinked. “Wow. That’s a great way to get around the compulsion,” he blurted out, and Javier looked amazed.

“Holy shit, I’m totally doing that next time.”

“What on earth is going on here?!” They all turned as Tracy skated up, arms crossed, followed by Brian and Yuzuru. “What’s with all the yelling?” she demanded. 

“They were being mean about Junhwan and it pissed me off,” Jason said simply. “Some of us are really struggling with this can’t lie stuff and he doesn’t deserve their mocking him.”

Tracy glared at Javier. “You’re an adult, you should know better.”

“Javi is teenager in adult body, he always is childish,” Yuzuru said, then grimaced. “Sorry, Javi.”

Javier rolled his eyes. “Yeah that’s rich coming from you, Ice Princess,” he said, then groaned. “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

Brian sighed. “Everybody stop talking. Try to do like Jason, try swapping languages if you can. We can’t tear apart the team spirit with those cruel inner thoughts everybody has every once in a while.”

“For some of us, it’s a little more serious than that, Brian,” Jason snapped, then flushed. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. 

“I know, trust me,” Brian said softly, looking around at all of them. “I’m sure for some of us this has affected our families and relationships. It’s rough. But just trust that it will get better eventually. 

Yuzuru suddenly remembered something and his traitorous mouth betrayed him, though at least it betrayed him in a language only three people there spoke. “ _Is that why Shoma called me to ask about the truth spell? Did you two have a fight about it?_ ”

Jason’s eyes widened and he visibly tried to lock his mouth shut but it started moving without his consent. “ _When I told him I can’t lie or keep things in, he demanded that I tell him why I won’t be his boyfriend when I know he likes me and he knows I like him and I really hurt him by saying ‘it wouldn’t be any different so why make stuff complicated’ even though I’m right, there’s no reason to complicate things, but then he just asked why he’s good enough for me to have sex with but not good enough to be my boyfriend and even with the truth spell I couldn’t find an answer so he hung up on me and I feel terrible because he sounded really hurt and now he won’t talk to me but I don’t know what to do._ ”

Jason’s rapid-fire Japanese seemed to stun the rest of them. “Shit, I knew you spoke Japanese, but even Yuzuru doesn’t talk that fast,” Tracy said, then blushed at her cursing. 

“I- I’ve been practicing with Shoma for the past few years,” Jason whimpered, putting his hands over his face. 

Jun looked mortified. “Wow. Jason. That _sucks_!”

Brian looked at Tracy with an amused eyebrow lift. “Tracy, I think all our kids are gay.”

After that, every single one of them put their hands over their mouths and scrambled to keep from saying something offensive, confessionary, or just rude to each other. 

~

Yuzuru was waiting for his mother when an arm snagged him around the waist. “Soooo,” Javier drawled, tucking Yuzuru into his side so he could whisper in his ear. “What was Jason saying in there?” Yuzuru glared coldly and repeated what he remembered in Japanese to keep from actually blurting out Jason’s confession. Javier just pouted playfully. “Unfair.”

“You asking Jason’s private secret is unfair,” Yuzuru said. “And you are mean to Junhwan! He is a baby, meany!” he snapped at him.

Javier grimaced. “Yeah, we were dicks,” he agreed, shrugging. “It was just teasing but if something has happened to upset Junhwan enough that _Jason_ went off on us, I guess it was bad. We were really being mean.”

Yuzuru sighed. “I do not know Jun is very sad, but he is.” He clutched his hands together. “And he is just small boy,” he cooed. “Well, giant boy, but young boy.”

Javier nodded. “He is incredibly tall,” he agreed. “Also, I always thought Jason is shorter than me, but when he got in my face, I had to look up.”

“Yeah, Jason seem small and sweet, but he is big,” Yuzuru agreed.

“I wonder what has him so on edge? He lives alone, who could he upset?” Javier asked.

Yuzuru tried to swap to Japanese, but it came on too fast. “He fight with Shoma.” Yuzuru groaned, putting his hand over his face.

“I wonder what about,” Javier mused. “If they’re not dating, just sleeping together, what would they fight about?”

Yuzuru scoffed. “Friends fight, Javi. It is not weird. You make me have much anger all the time,” he said, glaring up at him. 

Javier smirked, tightening his hold around Yuzuru’s waist. “Oh I make you angry, huh?” he asked. “Are you finally going to tell me what you meant the other day-“

“OH LOOK, MOM IS HERE, BYE!” Yuzuru wiggled free of Javier’s hold and rushed to his mother’s car. Once he got inside, he flopped back in the seat and groaned at the crisis averted. 

~

Javier had mostly avoided the consequences of the Truth Spell for several days that included Brian sleeping in his office to keep from making his relationship worse, Jason looking stressed all the time, Junhwan not talking to Conrad or Joseph even though the three of them were usually thick as thieves, Tracy swearing far more than any of them had ever heard, and Yuzuru training alone with nobody but Brian ever there. 

Until the day his girlfriend refused to text and wanted to Skype. When he got on, she asked him why he was avoiding her and he blurted out, “I don’t want to talk to you.” She blinked at him and then, to his horror, began to cry. “No Baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“No, it’s okay.” She sucked in a breath. “It’s not just you. I- I’m bored,” she confessed. “I don’t love you, Javi, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she stressed. “I don’t know what happened, but I just feel like this relationship is fake these days. I don’t see you so I don’t even care, honestly.” She sniffled. “I’m glad you said it first. I was too ashamed.”

“I-“ Javier stopped, swallowing hard. He hadn’t meant for this at all. He just meant he didn’t want to talk to her where he couldn’t lie. “I don’t get it?”

She shrugged. “You’re fun. You’re handsome. But you’re not the love of my life. I was sticking with it for you, but if- if you’re done, too, then maybe it’s best we end it now.”

Javier’s stomach dropped out. “But- but why?”

She sniffled. “I just don’t want to do this anymore. Do you?” Javier thought long and hard and sadly, he couldn’t come up with an honest answer other than- 

“No,” he said softly. He ducked his head, shielding his eyes. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t expect this. But… I don’t love you.”

She sniffled. “I don’t love you either.” Javier watched tears fall and was shockingly not heartbroken. “I’m so bored by you. It’s not your fault, you’re great. I just- I’m not cut out for this. I’m not meant for you I don’t think. When you were gonna retire and come home I thought maybe it would get better, but when you went back… I don’t even care!” she said tightly.

Javier swallowed hard, his own heart tightening painfully. “I- I don’t miss you,” he confessed. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s okay, I don’t miss you either,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry too.” She nodded a few times. “I think this should be goodbye, Javier.”

He sighed and nodded. “Yeah. I think so, too,” he agreed. “Goodbye,” he whispered, and she nodded and smiled.

“Goodbye.”

When the video call ended, Javier laid down on the bed and tried to come to terms with this feeling. He wasn’t really upset, but it felt like he should be. He didn’t understand how it took a truth spell to make him realized his feelings. He was comfortable with her. He would miss the companionship. But he didn’t love her anymore. He thought he probably did when they first started falling for each other, but over time, after a near two-year relationship, it wasn’t hard to see the love had just faded.

Maybe the truth curse was less of a curse than a blessing for him. Javier had been planning to propose she come to Canada and live with him. He didn’t even love her and he was about to move in together. The truth curse made him realize it was best to not do that and let her leave him for both their sakes. 

He hated what it was doing to the others, but it only helped him. 

Then his thoughts strayed to what Tracy had said. _No, he told you in hopes you would offer to sleep with him_. Javier knew he had always had some feelings for Yuzuru. Now he wondered if Tracy’s confession was the key to finding out how Yuzuru felt for him. Did Yuzuru have feelings for him? Even just a little bit? 

Javier’s thoughts turned to what she suggested, that Yuzuru wanted Javier to sleep with him. Javier’s stomach tightened and he felt a flush of faint arousal at the mental image of Yuzuru beneath him. Nobody could miss how sexy Yuzuru Hanyu was. His body was his fiercest weapon in all ways, not just in skating. That waist did things to men that they rarely even understood. Javier had witnessed heterosexual men with wives and kids get looks of confusion when they posed with Yuzuru for photos and got a hand on that tiny waist. 

Javier had always taken advantage of their closeness to touch Yuzuru’s body. He felt guilty at times, because it was perverted, but if Yuzuru was into that, Javier didn’t have to worry as much. Javier had felt those thighs under his hands, he’d caught him from falling by grabbing his ass, he had held that delicate face in his hands. 

He could easily imagine what it was like to touch that body while naked and in the heat of passion. 

Javier slid his hand down to the hem of his shirt, tracing the line of skin above the waistband of his pants. It would be so easy to give in and touch himself to the thought of those thighs wrapped around him or that waist encircled by his hands while he fucked deeply into that perfect ass. 

“Stop it,” Javier muttered aloud to himself. He just broke up with his girlfriend. It was just _wrong_ to masturbate to another person when he should be thinking long and hard about what went wrong with the relationship just ended.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the angst in this chapter. Also, this IS a Yuzuru center fic, it WILL get back to him and Javi soon. I just had an idea and decided this is a good time to put it in so I do not rush Javi and Yuzuru getting together!
> 
> Also, I cried writing this. T-T

Jason didn’t realize how much he missed Shoma until Shoma stopped talking to him. Even if they didn’t talk on the phone often, Jason and Shoma often sent messages that waited until the receiver had time to read it. Jason lived alone so having someone to talk to made him not feel lonely when he was in his apartment at night, by himself. 

Losing that lifeline hurt, but knowing he hurt Shoma hurt worse.

That’s why when he received a video message from Shoma, he got excited. He hoped he had something to tell him and was willing to speak to Jason again. A week without talking to Shoma even once hurt like hell, so he opened the video with a big smile on his face. 

What he saw shocked him. At first it was just Shoma’s face – covered by a mask so only his eyes showed – but then he finished setting up his camera and sat back and revealed his entirely naked body lit by the glow of what looked like his laptop in front of him, somewhere below the camera. Jason blushed at the sight even though he had seen it before. Shoma’s hair was different and if he didn’t know Shoma’s eyes so well, he might not even know who he was. And then a voice spoke.

“You ready, Baby Boy?” 

Jason watched in shock as Shoma nodded to the laptop and sat back on the bed, laying back against the pillows and _spreading his legs_ to show a toy inside his ass. Shoma was having video sex with someone and filmed it and sent it to Jason. Jason was shocked and confused and slightly aroused by the sight of Shoma spread out like that, looking so hot. When the person spoke again – in English, which Jason knew Shoma understood more than he spoke of – and Jason’s jaw dropped. “God, you’re pretty for me, Baby. Sweet boy. I wish you would let me see that pretty face of yours.”

“No,” Shoma said simply and then he put his feet flat on the bed and looked _right at the camera Jason was watching a video from_. “Go?”

“Oh fuck, yeah, I’ll go alright.” To Jason’s shock, without moving, Shoma gasped and shivered, and Jason realized what was happening. He might not date or have sex very often, but he had been on the internet, he knew that there were sex toys that could be controlled from anywhere in the world these days. Jason was watching a man somewhere – sounded vaguely European but he wasn’t sure where – in the world controlling a vibrator in Shoma’s ass. The whole time, Shoma kept his eyes locked with Jason’s camera, as if he was staring him down the whole time. “God, look at you. You’re being so good for Daddy. I think you deserve a reward.” Shoma jolted some, whining. He reached for his erection but the voice spoke again. “No. We talked about this. You come from the toy and my control or you don’t come at all.”

Jason didn’t know what he was supposed to feel while he watched the whole video of Shoma having some man control a vibrator in his ass. He wanted to figure out what Shoma meant by this so he didn’t stop it. But the longer it went on, and the more Shoma shook and cried out and shivered, the more he wanted to turn it off. He wasn’t turned on. He felt sick almost. He felt guilt. He felt hurt at having to see this. 

He felt jealousy. 

Jason hated this. He hated the fact there was no answer to his questions. Why was Shoma doing this? Who was he doing it with? Why did he want Jason to see it? Why did he lock eye contact with the camera the whole time? Was he trying to make Jason angry? Trying to hurt him back by saying, ‘Look, I don’t need you anyways’, or, ‘Fine, I’ll let another man ‘fuck’ me then’. He didn’t feel angry, he just felt hollow. He felt sad that Shoma was trying to hurt him or upset him or whatever. I felt angry that some asshole somewhere in the world got to make Shoma come all over himself without ever being touched when he didn’t even know Shoma. He didn’t know how shy Shoma was or that he was lucky to get to see Shoma this way. 

He hated that he had driven Shoma to do something so dangerous as well. 

Shoma left Jason’s camera running long after he had stopped talking to the man and cleaned himself up. Then he grabbed the camera, looked right at it, and said _nothing_ as he turned it off.

Jason instantly deleted the video. He didn’t want that. He never wanted to see that or feel that way again. He went to bed even though it was only eight-thirty and tried to work out exactly why he was crying.

~

Jason was clearly not okay. Tracy had tried not to talk too much in case she made him say something he didn’t want to, but when he showed up late and looked like he had been crying, she felt terrible. She knew he had been fighting with his friend because of the stupid Truth Spell. She hated this crap. She felt so bad for the rest of them. Jason’s heart was so tender. He was like Yuzuru in that he felt things so much. Yuzuru cried at the drop of a hat, but Jason showed his emotions with his whole body. He was less tearful and more painful to be around. 

She pulled him aside to her office and sat him down. “I hate to do this, but tell me what’s wrong, Sweetheart?” she asked, and as he looked at her his eyes filled with tears. It was heartbreaking.

“I don’t know how to love somebody,” he confessed as his tears fell. “I don’t- I don’t have experience with relationships. They seem scary. I just know that it hurts to not talk to him but I’m so scared all the time,” he whimpered. “I’ve never been scared of being gay but the thought of dating a man is terrifying. People don’t care I’m gay as long as I’m single. I’m so scared if I date someone I’ll be a target. I _hate_ that I know people will hate me for being who I am when nothing is wrong with it, and my best friend wants to be my boyfriend but I would rather not complicate things, and now I hurt him and he hurt me back on purpose just to make sure I know what it feels like. I think,” he added. “It’s all I can guess he’s doing it for.”

Tracy’s chest tightened. “Oh Jason.” She pulled him into a hug. “Trust me. I know more than you would think about how scary it is to be gay.” She rubbed his back as he cried. “I was born lucky. I consider it a stroke of luck to be straight, not because anything is wrong with being gay, but because I’ve seen so much horrible stuff happen to gay people in my life just because people can’t accept difference.”

She closed her eyes, fighting a lump in her throat. “Do you know the story of my career?”

“A little,” he said, pulling back to look at her. “I know your partner died not long after you retired.”

She snorted. “We retired because he was my best friend and he was dying,” she said sadly. “No, not just gay people got AIDS, but nobody wanted to treat gay men during that time. We were lucky to be in Canada, where at least he got treatment, but he lived his last few years knowing he was going to only be remembered for being gay and dying of AIDS. I was so angry at the whole world,” she whispered fiercely. “Nobody looked for cures or treatments. Yes, he got care, but there was no medicine to give him to help less his symptoms and improve his chances. My best friend died because the world didn’t care that much until straight people started dying in droves. Imagine that,” she said tightly. “I never let anybody forget about it. For years after he died, I made sure everybody knew my best friend was gay and I loved him so much. Every time someone gave gay skaters problems, I wanted to physically punch someone. It’s very recent that you guys are embraced by your sport.”

Jason nodded, sniffling. “I know,” he said. “It hasn’t even been ten years since they tried to get rid of a gay skater in America. I know I’m so lucky. And I’m not even very open so I’m even luckier.”

She smiled and patted his shoulder. “We love you. We don’t care who you love. And I know it’s so scary, but please don’t let that fear ruin your training. I can’t help you with your feelings and your friend, but never be scared of being gay.” She looked him dead in the eyes. “ _Never_ be scared. I know you’re a sweet guy, but if someone gives you shit, bring out your inner bitch and tell them to fuck off. Don’t let them hurt you. Don’t let anybody have that power. Hurt them. Shame them for being bigots. Say it to their faces. I can’t help you with your situation right now, but never be scared of being yourself. You’re amazing. I wouldn’t have fought Brian to bring you here if I didn’t think you were capable of being one of the best skaters in the history of this sport. You already are, really,” she said with a warm smile. “Never doubt that you are special and anybody who gives you shit just because of who you love is lower than a cockroach.”

Jason smiled through his tears. “Thank you,” he whispered, then hugged her close. 

~

Yuzuru wasn’t sure what happened, but Jason came to practice for three days with a look of fire in his eyes. He seemed like he had something to prove, and he did. Brian asked if it would be okay to work with them together, and every single day Jason did quad sals until he was dripping with sweat. He even threw in an occasional quad toe as if it was easy. Yuzuru wasn’t sure who pissed Jason off, but it clearly was fuel for his skating. Jason’s stamina was crazy anyways. Yuzuru had struggled his whole life with breathing at the end of a run-through. Yuzuru could do maybe one true run-through in a training session, two if he marked some jumps. He watched Jason do his long three times in a row just to work on timing for his quad sal. 

Yuzuru looked at Brian while taking a break and frowned. “Jason is okay? He seem not okay. He very mad,” he said, looking at where Jason had landed a quad sal to rival Javi’s best quad sal. “Mad Jason do good jump,” he added.

Brian grimaced. “Even with the truth spell I couldn’t tell you what is wrong. I have no clue. I just know Tracy asked to put him with you for a few days. Something happened. She avoided telling me, but she had that angry mother bear look in her eyes. 

Yuzuru hummed. “If anger make Jason skate this way, maybe make mad before every competition,” he suggested jokingly. “Refuse let him dance or say Japanese. He get very angry. Skate really good.”

Brian chuckled. “Don’t give me ideas.” Brian sighed. “Nah, I think it’s about his sexuality. Not sure if it’s about a guy or something else, but Tracy was crying so I’m pretty sure it was because he’s gay.” Brian groaned. “Fuck. I really didn’t want to talk about personal stuff.”

Yuzuru smiled sadly. He understood the fact they couldn’t lie. “It okay. We all gay here,” he said simply. “I understand. It scary. Figure skater change so much so fast but still it get hate. I never want people know. Ever. I like secret. I do not feel ‘restriction’. I feel safe.” 

Brian hummed. “You guys are so young and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but eventually it will get out. Own your own coming out,” he suggested. “I’m not saying come out now, but just be sure you get to be the one to tell people. Trust me, being outed is pretty terrible.”

Yuzuru thought about that and hummed. “Maybe I do coming out so guys think I like, not just admire.” He shook his head. “I am too pretty to die without ever doing sex.” Yuzuru paled and slapped a hand over his mouth. “SORRY!” he blurted out, then ran away, squawking as he did because he actually just said that to his coach. His _coach_. He wanted to die. 

~

Jason felt miserable. He liked that he was skating better than usual, but the cause was terrible. He hated feeling lost and confused. He hated not knowing where he stood with Shoma, and one night, after deciding to stay up way too late watching old videos of competition and getting emotional, he decided to set the record straight once and for all. 

Jason picked up his phone to record a video message like Shoma did, but instead of cryptic webcam sex, he was going to just tell him straightforward what he was feeling and thinking right now. 

“Hi, Shoma,” he said, already feeling a lump growing in his throat as he watched his own face on the screen. “I don’t know where to start,” he whispered. “The thing is, I can’t lie, so everything I say right now is true. I don’t understand the video you sent me. I don’t know if you wanted to hurt me or make me angry or tell me some message that didn’t translate.” He swallowed hard. “But I hated it. I hated seeing that. Yes, I got jealous if that was your intention, but also angry that you would do something so risky just to try and get back at me. If that’s your way to tell me you don’t need me, then fine. Point taken.” He sniffled as his eyes burned. “I miss you. I didn’t realize how much we talk all the time. It’s been two weeks since we had a conversation or messages or anything. You’re- you’re my closest friend, Shoma,” he whimpered as a tear broke free. “And you hurt me. I know it’s not all your fault, you want something I don’t think I can give you. I’m scared of falling in love. I’m scared of dating someone because then I’m not just the silly, flamboyant skater who is probably gay, I’m indisputably a gay skater and everything I do will be judged as a gay skater, not just a skater. That _terrifies_ me, and I don’t think you understand how scary that is. You live in a society that will ignore it. You could mark a boyfriend into the gala with you and people would just call him your ‘friend’ officially unless you said something about it.”

Jason sucked in a deep breath and fought a sob as tears streaked his face. “You hurt me and I know I hurt you and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He let out a sob. “Shoma, I think we shouldn’t be friends anymore,” he choked out. “I love you and I’m sorry, but we can’t go back after talking about it and hurting each other and I can’t take this. I can’t hurt all the time because I miss you and know I’m hurting you. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me. I promise, I do love you, so much. You’re my best friend. I just- I just don’t want to grow to resent each other. It’s best we just- just go back to friendly competitors.” He nodded, even as he whimpered, and his face crumpled. “Goodbye, Shoma.”

When he stopped the recording, he couldn’t even watch it. He just sent it. The moment it said ‘sent’, he tossed his phone and fell over on the couch to cry out his pain, his frustration, and his instant regret.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be shocking and it was almost more shocking, but I decided not to do that. You will immediately know what I almost did, jajajaja

Javier was just sipping his beer when he looked up and instantly choked on said beer, because _Yuzuru Hanyu_ was walking into the bar. “Yuzu?!” he called unthinkingly, and Yuzuru turned around, only to blink.

“Javi? Wow. I do not think I see people I know here,” he said, walking over to stop beside Javier’s table. “You here alone?” he asked, looking around. 

Javier opened his mouth only to have another voice speak up. “Wow, I didn’t even see you two when I came in.” They looked up and saw Jason sitting at the end of the bar, a glass in his hand. He slid off his stool and walked over. “We all go to the same bar?”

“I guess so,” Javier said, looking at Yuzuru. “You don’t drink. Why are you here?”

Yuzuru blushed. “I figure it worth trying. Life shitty right now. If I have allergic reaction, I just get time off talking to people while in hospital.” 

Javier snorted. “That’s some logic.” He kicked the chair opposite him out. “Join me, that way if you start choking we can take you to a hospital.”

Jason snorted and flopped down opposite Javier, letting Yuzuru pick a side between them. “So. This looks like drowning sorrows,” Jason said, looking at the four empty beer bottles on the table. He raised his glass. “Salut.”

Javier hummed. “Yeah, well, less drowning sorrows and more trying to stop thinking about how non-sorrowful it was when my girlfriend dumped me.”

Yuzuru’s eyes widened. “You break up? Oh no. Poor Javi.”

“Yeah, well, I’m drowning my sorrows,” Jason said bluntly, downing the rest of his glass. He grimaced. “I hate hard alcohol. But I hate myself more, so yay alcohol!” He looked around and raise a hand for the waitress to come over. When she got there, Javier watched in surprise when Jason asked to just have a bottle of scotch and three glasses. 

Javier snickered. “Well, if you’re buying, I won’t say no.” He sat back in his chair. “So, can we form a drunk pact to pretend we don’t all say the true bullshit we’re gonna say now?” 

“Agreed,” Jason said with a nod. “Yuzu?”

Yuzuru nodded. “Yes, I agree.” He leaned forward. “So this is about Shoma, yes? I hear from Keiji he do not get online for four day.”

Javier leaned in, interested. “Oh yeah, the Shoma stuff! How’s that going?” he asked, because this was juicy stuff. 

Jason snorted aggressively. “I friendship-dumped him. We’ve been close friends since he was fourteen and I was seventeen. He’s basically my best friend. I love that guy,” he said. “But he wants me to be his boyfriend and I don’t want to and he sent me revenge porn of some random dude on the internet having webcam sex with him to piss me off so I decided ‘fuck it’! Let’s just end the friendship before we grow to resent each other.” He turned to the waitress as she returned and thanked her, then poured them all healthy measures. “Drink up so you don’t remember me telling you that tomorrow.”

Javier grimaced but did as he said, wincing at the burn. Javi was more of a beer and wine guy, truth be told. “That’s rough. You sure you have to go so far?”

“Oh, I regret it entirely,” Jason said bluntly. “I already blocked him on everything and deleted the contacts so there’s no going back now.” He sighed. “So, why did your girlfriend dump you? Truth shit?”

Javier nodded, sighing. “Yeah. I told her I didn’t want to talk to her because of the truth thing, without saying the truth part, and she just goes ‘oh good, because I don’t love you anyways, I just didn’t want to be the one to end it’. I was NOT going for that,” he stressed. “I wanted to not talk where I cant lie, she didn’t love me anymore.”

“Oh no,” Jason said, eyes showing hurt. “Oh Javi. I’m so sorry.”

Javier rubbed a hand over his head. “Eh, it’s fine. I really wasn’t that upset? That’s what’s so fucked up. I was happy with her, but when she dumped me, I didn’t feel that sad. Why am I not sad? I don’t understand!” He looked at Yuzuru. “Okay, now your turn. Distract us from our loneliness. We’re here to drink to forget. Why are you here?”

Yuzuru blushed and took a large sip of his drink – he didn’t seem to be dying so far – and then coughed at the taste. “This is disgusting,” he said, holding his nose as he drank more. “Bleh. This better not kill me. It not even good.” He looked up and sighed. “I decide bar is good place to find sex,” he said bluntly, cheeks still flushed from the embarrassment. 

Jason choked on his drink. “Wow! Didn’t expect that!”

“I am twenty-four-year-old. I am oldest man at rink now. I look this face!” he said, gesturing to his face. “How I never get sex?! Yeah I do not want boyfriend, I have no time, but how I let life go so far I end up old virgin? Shoma do sex and I do not and he is baby!” he stressed.

Javier couldn’t help himself. “Yeah but only because Jason’s a pervert, you know what Shoma looked like at eighteen, Jason saw that tiny boy as sexy!”

Jason snorted, rolling his eyes. “So what, he had chubby cheeks still. He was legal and I cared about him as a friend. I knew his personality and knew not to be fooled by the face, he was all man.” 

“Yeah, and I can do seducing to straight man but I never take time to _do_ it,” Yuzuru argued. “Shoma not even try, he just say ‘oh Jason, what sex is like?’ and you do sex!”

“Yeah well, if you were my close friend when you were eighteen and wanted to have sex, I would’ve slept with you, too,” Jason defended, then blushed. “I’m not saying I want to sleep with you. You are pretty, but I just mean as a friend who was curious like Shoma and wanted someone you trusted to sleep with you.”

Javier hummed. “Yeah, I would sleep with you, too,” he confessed, glad he was drunk enough not to care what he was confessing. “You’re gorgeous, Yuzuru. I’ve never done more than a hand job with a guy before, but I’d definitely fuck you.”

Jason gasped dramatically. “YOU have done it with GUYS?!” he hissed, though it was definitely not a whisper. “Javier – the hottest man on ice – Fernandez has jerked off a dude?!”

Javier blushed but grinned. “What? I went through my formative years around sexy guys. Everybody experiments.”

“I would fuck either of you,” Yuzuru blurted out, cheeks flushed with alcohol and eyes glasses. “If we are be honest, both of you are very hot. I would absolutely do it with either one.” 

There was a long pause and Javier almost suggested ‘why not’, but then Jason blushed. “A threesome among rink mates is a terrible idea. Brian would kill us. I think I’ve had enough to drink. You guys can have the rest of this bottle,” he said, then stood up, clearing his throat. “And remember, we forget this all tomorrow, right?”

Javier smirked and winked. “Goodnight, Jason.”

Yuzuru giggled bashfully. “Bye, Jason.”

After watching him leave, Yuzuru and Javier looked at each other, and Javier just raised his glass. “A lot still left in this bottle,” he offered. Yuzuru blushed, but Javier could see the spark in his eyes and Javier’s stomach tightened with what could be. 

“Sure,” Yuzuru said, pouring Javier a much bigger glass than himself. “We can talk and finish drink,” he suggested. “Javi like?”

Javier smirked. “Javi like,” he parroted back, grinning when Yuzuru blushed and giggled. 

~

Yuzuru had never been drunk before, but he was fairly certain that it had nothing to do with how good it felt to have Javier’s mouth devouring his. He whined, throwing out a hand to keep from hitting his head on the window of the car. “Yes, Javi, unnn,” he panted as Javier moved to kiss his throat and down further before pulling back long enough to get Yuzuru out of his shirt, Javier had already lost his, and Yuzuru’s sweaty fingers slipped against his abs as he touched him. 

Javier was flushed and glassy eyed as he moved above Yuzuru, looking down at him. “Yuzu. Yuzu, I can’t fuck you here, there’s- there’s nothing.”

Yuzuru pouted but reached down to grab Javier’s hard length through his jeans. “At least show me,” he whined. “Javi, want see. Want touch it.” He had never touched another penis and it was killing him to be so close and denied. “Please, Jabi?” he whimpered, pouting up at him, and Javier visibly melted, groaning.

“Anything for you, anything,” he said, trying to undo his jeans one-handed while bracing himself above Yuzuru at the same time. 

They shifted around, trying to get their pants off, and they only managed to both get their jeans down to their knees. Yuzuru got one leg free, the other leg still encased in his pants with his boxers tangled in them, and he wrapped it around Javier’s hip, tugging until Javier’s erection ground against his. “Javi!” he whined, tossing his head back.

Javier panted against his cheek. “Like this? You want it like this?”

“Yes!” Yuzuru said, rolling his hips upwards, seeking friction. “Mmmm, this good, this good.”

“Fuck, you’re so fucking beautiful,” Javier panted against his ear as he started grinding their hips together, rocking into him like he was fucking him, but instead thrusting against the groove of Yuzuru’s thigh and hip, rubbing their throbbing hardness against each other. “You’re so wet for me,” Javier groaned, though he knew he helped matters a lot with how much precum was already leaking from his tip. Yuzuru got _wet_ though. There was a puddle of it on his lower abs practically. “God, I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” Javier confessed, biting the side of Yuzuru’s straining throat, making him cry out and dig his perfectly neat nails and delicate fingers into Javier’s shoulders. “Having you under me is a fantasy I’ve had for years but never wanted to allow myself to indulge in.

“Javi!” Yuzuru whined, tugging him down until their bodies were entirely flush. He turned his head and sough Javier’s lips, giving him a sloppy, wet kiss. “Want you fuck me. Next time, fuck me. Javi so big. So big feel amazing inside. Want it inside me. Want Javi make me come with his _cock_ ,” he hissed in a dirty rasp. 

Javier almost came right then and there. It was impossible to think of this situation. They had called a cab, learned it would be forty-five minutes before they could get there, and decided to fuck in Javier’s car in the overnight parking lot he left it in by the bar while waiting. He had gone out planning to drink alone and ended up momentarily contemplating a threesome with two guys, and ended up in the backseat with Yuzuru beneath him, gasping his name and tugging at his hair in pleasure. Every fantasy Javier had about Yuzuru during sex was far short of the real thing. Yuzuru’s skin glistened in the streetlights, his lips were red and swollen beautifully, and his perfect body felt _amazing_ in Javier’s arms. 

“Jabi, Jabi make me come!” Yuzuru pleaded, tugging his hair to kiss him, and Javier growled, grabbing a handful of Yuzuru’s thigh, fingertips digging in slightly as he fucked his hips against Yuzuru’s, imagining how it would feel if he were deep inside that tight, hot channel instead of the tease of grinding against each other. Yuzuru let out a soft wail as he shuddered hard, clinging to him desperately as Javier felt the pulsing of hot semen against his skin. “Jabi, Jabi, Jabi,” he panted, shaking in his arms.

Javier held him while he came down, stroking slow, long strokes of his back and waist, kissing his shoulder and cheek soothingly. “That’s it. You’re perfect, Yuzu. So fucking beautiful, Cari.”

When Yuzuru seemed able to breathe, Javier shifted up above him, straddling one thigh as he stroked himself rapidly, looking at the sight below him. Yuzuru was panting, sweaty, had spent all over his stomach, and was so gorgeously fucked out it didn’t take long for Javier to come, groaning as he added his own to the mix of fluids on Yuzuru’s heaving belly. “Oh my God, that so hot,” Yuzuru panted, looking down at Javier’s cock in his hand and the mess on his skin. “Fuck. Javi come on me. You know how many time I masturbate to this thought since I meet you? I seventeen when we meet,” Yuzuru stressed, reaching down to trail a finger through the mess. 

Javier thought he might get hard again when Yuzuru brought that finger to his mouth and licked it, moaning as he looked into Javier’s eyes and sucked his finger clean. “So dirty. Dirty, dirty Javi.”

“My God, how have you struggled to seduce a man before this?” Javier blurted out, and then blushed and leaned into the front seat to get napkins out of the glove box. They cleaned themselves up and then, in a struggling tangle of limbs, got dressed again. “Will you come home with me?” Javier asked, unable to stop himself.

Yuzuru blushed and bit his lip. “I wish I can, but I must go home. I do not tell Mom I will not come home tonight. She worry if I suddenly stay out.” Javier didn’t know what else to say so Yuzuru just smiled shyly. “I see tomorrow?” He leaned in and kissed Javier suddenly. "Cab may be here now. You go your way. I go get bus. Hope I do sober enough mother do not notice when I get home.”

Javier snickered. “We’re both definitely drunk,” he agreed, and kissed Yuzuru again. “Goodnight, Cari,” he whispered and Yuzuru smiled brightly.

“Hope we both not be hangover tomorrow. Bye bye, Jabi,” he said cutely with one more peck before he opened the door on his side and got out. 

Javier sat back against the seat and sighed, running a hand over his face. “Fuck, that was probably a bad idea,” he muttered. He had just had drunken sex with Yuzuru Hanyu. Yuzuru’s first time was drunken fumbling in the backseat of a car. He just probably gave the most boring first time ever to _Yuzuru Hanyu_. “Oh, I’m definitely going to hell.”

~

Yuzuru woke up to the sight of his mother standing over his bed, hands on her hips. “Mom?”

“It’s seven-thirty,” she said simply, and he shot upright, eyes wide. He looked down and saw himself on top of the covers, in last night’s clothes, and he groaned. He was drunk when he got home and just went to bed. He didn’t even shower. He knew damn well he smelled like alcohol and sex. “So. What did you get up to last night?” she asked, and he looked fearfully up at her, only to be shocked at the way she was clearly fighting back a laugh. 

“What do you mean, Mom?”

She gave up and snickered. “Son, your neck,” she said, laughing louder. “You look like you had a good time, huh? Smell like you drank a shelf of liquor at a nightclub, too.”

Yuzuru flushed. “You’re not… mad?”

She scoffed. “You’re twenty-four. You’re old enough to go out and have fun. I’m shocked you haven’t done it more since the Olympics ended and took the pressure off. I’ve noticed you hanging out and talking with your training mates more. So. Meet a cute girl?” she asked.

He flushed and cleared his throat. “I had sex with someone,” he blurted out, unable to stop himself due to the truth spell. 

She shook her head, laughing as she turned to leave. “I just hope you used protection, Romeo,” she said on her way out, making him whine and dive under his pillow in shame.

“MOM!” 

“What?! It’s fine you’re being an adult finally, but don’t go and make me a grandmother!” she called on her way down the hall. “Get showered and dressed, I’ll call Coach Brian and explain you’re gonna be late.”

Yuzuru wanted to die. He never imagined his mother would be fine with him going out and drinking and having sex. He never imagined his mother finding out he had sex! He never imagined HAVING sex!

He sat up suddenly, paling. Holy shit, he thought. He had slept with Javier last night and barely missed out on a threesome with both Javier and Jason. How the fuck would he go to the rink and not tell anybody now?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's too late for this, it's past 1am my time, but I decided to be nice and give you guys the next chapter. There is already one more edited so maybe another tomorrow, too! 
> 
> Enjoy the drama!

Yuzuru had on sunglasses and a scarf when he got to the rink and Brian took one look before freaking out. “Are you sick and didn’t tell me?! Let me see. How glassy are your eyes?” he demanded.

Tracy skated over. “Yuzu, you okay?” she asked, and Jason snickered from where he lay on the floor instead of getting ready to skate. 

“Probably just hungover like me,” he said, not bothering to look ashamed. Yuzuru glared at him and Jason grinned, looking pretty worse for wear. “What happened after I left the bar last night?”

“Yuzuru, you went to a _bar_?” Tracy demanded, looking shocked. “What the hell did you do that for?”

Yuzuru flushed before blurting out, “I was looking for sex,” he said, ducking his head in shame. “I meet Jason and Javi at same bar. We drink whole bottle of alcohol.”

Brian snorted, looking amused. “You three went out and got hammered together? You’ve never been drunk in your life!” He and Tracy laughed good naturedly. “Well how did that work out for you?” he teased. “Bad hangover?”

“We almost had a threesome,” Jason blurted out, then slapped his hands over his face and groaned.

Brian and Tracy both looked scandalized. “WHAT?!” Tracy screeched. 

“Yeah, we got to talking about how we all find each other totally attractive even if we’re not interested in dating any of us and we were really drunk and Javier and Yuzuru looked a few more drinks from saying, ‘let’s all have sex together!’ and I knew that would end poorly, so I left,” Jason said, grimacing as he sat up, rubbing his head. “Drank more at home. Regret it all. Well not the skipping the threesome thing. I really don’t need to ruin myself for other men by seeing Javier Fernandez naked.”

Yuzuru couldn’t help it, the truth spell compelled him. “It is really, really good sight.”

Jason’s jaw dropped and Brian narrowed his eyes at Yuzuru. “You mean you’ve seen it in the locker room, right?” he asked warningly and Yuzuru tried to slap his hands over his mouth, he tried to swap to Japanese, but before he could even say it, Tracy grabbed his scarf and tugged it off, exposing the massive hickey on his neck. 

Jason gasped. “Oh my GOD! You guys fucked after I left?!” he cried, then cackled, falling back onto the floor. “Oh my GOOOOOOD! Yuzuru, you got to see Javier Fernandez naked! You did it though! You went there to lose your virginity and you did! Congratulations! Wow, and with that man. God, what I’d do to touch those abs-“

“Okay, someone shut Jason up before he says something he can’t ever survive,” Brian snapped, and Tracy went to force Jason out onto the ice. He looked back at Yuzuru and Yuzuru blushed, ducking his head. “Seriously? As if this truth crap wasn’t enough drama-causing?”

“It- It just happen,” Yuzuru mumbled, looking down at his feet. “We get very drunk. It is bad decision. He is train to be coach now. I technically am student,” he said with a sigh. “Do not be mad?” he pleaded, taking off his sunglasses to give Brian his best puppy eyes. “It just bad choice while drinking. I do not think I do drinking again.”

Brian groaned into his hands. “Just get changed, goddamn it.”

Yuzuru scurried past, fighting the shame in his tummy over how upset he had made Brian.

~

Javier wasn’t sure what to expect when he got to the rink, but he really didn’t expect to find Tracy punishing Jason with her training and Yuzuru looking meek and timid every time Brian held up his whiteboard, clearly going back to that instead of talking to him. Javier’s heart sank when he realized Brian and Tracy at least found out about the getting hammered the night before training. 

“Mr. Fernandez!” Javier looked at Brian, who looked angry. “My office. Yuzuru, take a break,” he said, leaving the ice with a dark look to Javier. Javier knew it was really serious if Brian didn’t bother taking his skates off, just put skate guards on them. 

When they got to Brian’s office, he slammed the door and stomped over to sit on his desk and take the skates off. “Brian, I know you’re gonna say something about us going out drinking-“

“Javi, I love you like a son and think of you as family,” Brian started. “But now that you are an employee of the Toronto Cricket and Curling Club, I’m also your supervisor. You need to work on your professionalism,” he stressed. “If the owners of the organization found out one of my employees got wasted with two of our skaters and _hooked up_ with the biggest star under our roof, you would get fired,” he said bluntly. 

Javier bristled more than he felt guilt. “Look, yes, I’m a coach trainee here, but those guys have been my friends for years and nothing happened here, it was outside in our private lives.”

“Yeah, and it’s still an inappropriate imbalance of powers,” Brian stressed. “He might be your friend, and a consenting adult, so nothing is legally wrong with what you did, but I refuse to run the kind of training program that excuses coaches sleeping with their skaters. It’s highly inappropriate. I will not build a reputation like some of these coaches who use their position of authority to sleep with skaters.”

Javier scoffed. “Those situations are always sketchy and even disgusting. This is not exactly Morozov marrying a girl a week after she turns eighteen, Brian. Yuzuru is twenty-four, we’ve been close for seven years, and nothing is wrong with our choices. Was it a bad idea, yeah. Sleeping with my best friend was a pretty bad idea. Having sex in the backseat of a car parked in public was a terribly stupid idea. But don’t act like I’m some pervert preying on a skater!”

“No, it’s not the same, I agree,” Brian argued back. “Because if you had sex with Junhwan, no amount of love for you would have stopped me from calling the police. I’m just saying you can’t do this. And if you had done what Jason said you guys almost did, I would have probably had to fire you,” he stressed. Javier gaped. “What? Do you seriously not see how inappropriate that would have been? You are a coach in training, you aren’t a skater here.”

“So I would have been fired for three consenting adults doing what they all agreed on in their private lives entirely separate from the rink?” Javier asked, raising in incredulous eyebrow. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Yes, I am fucking serious,” Brian snapped. “This is a world class training program. I’m giving you a warning because I know Yuzuru is a special circumstance. He’s probably your best friend, so I can’t act like he’s not different, but you can’t just hook up with someone training here when you are a trainer here,” he said with finality. "If I hear about anybody else climbing in the backseat with you, I’ll have to tell the owners, no matter how much I want you to continue training to be a coach here.”

Javier’s stomach dropped and he looked down at his hands. “Brian. What if it’s not just one time?” He looked up, worrying his lip. “What if this with Yuzuru might- might become a relationship?”

Brian sighed, leaning back in his chair. “It’s tricky, Javi. That’s not as inappropriate since there’s a foundation and history to it. They might not take it as badly if we spin it like you guys have been dating in secret or something. But right now, none of us can lie,” he reminded him. “And if you sleep with him again, you need to be able to lie when I tell them what’s going on and they ask you about it. If you tell them this started after I hired you, you’re going to get fired, Javi,” he said sadly. “Just make good choices. Do what you have to do, but be prepared for the consequences.”

Javier swallowed hard, looking down at his lap. “I might be in love with him,” he confessed and Brian sighed.

“Yeah, well, tell me something I haven’t known for five years,” Brian said flatly. 

~

Things were strained with Javi and Yuzuru didn’t know what to do about it. They needed to talk, even he knew that. He expected Javier, never one for awkward silences and ignoring a situation, to come to him and ask to talk. He was confused when they didn’t talk about the fact they had sex. They acted like things were normal on the ice since, without being asked about it, they didn’t HAVE to talk about what happened. Tracy, Brian, and Jason were the only ones who knew what happened so nobody else knew what was weird. 

Brian had been really angry. Yuzuru was still confused about that. He figured he would be a little angry but Brian had been so angry when he spotted Javi that first morning that he left the rink still in his skates. Brian never walked far on blade guards because he said at his age, if he slipped on the tile floor, he would break a limb and it would make it harder for him to coach well. When he returned, he was flushed and looked like a dark cloud was over him the whole time.

That had been two days ago and still, Javi never approached him and he never got a lecture about it like Javi must have gotten from Brian. 

However, he got a reprieve from the uncomfortable feeling in his tummy that maybe Javi just meant it to be a one time thing by far bigger drama than them hooking up or him and Jason showing up hungover to practice. 

It was thankfully the seven AM class so it was only elite skaters, nobody else there, when the doors burst open like a tornado coming in. However, as they all turned to look in alarm, that tornado was 158cm of bitterness in the form of _Shoma_ standing at the edge of the ice with a flush of anger in his face, making his exhausted, gaunt face splotchy. 

“YOU! Get your ass over here, you bastard!” Shoma snarled and Yuzuru was glad that only a few of them understood his cursing, since it was very rude. Yuzuru turned to see where he was looking but already knew it would be Jason.

Jason looked like he might faint or cry, but his body wasn’t sure which to do. “S-Shoma? What are you doing here?”

“Finally snapping obviously,” Yuzuru blurted out, and Shoma glared his direction, actually scaring him a little.

“Shut the fuck up, Hanyu, this isn’t your problem!” he shouted. 

Jason skated over, looking timid. “Shoma, please, don’t make a scene-“

“YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU BLOCKED ME FROM EVERYTHING AND CUT ME OFF!” Shoma screamed in his face. Then, chest heaving with rage, his eyes filled with tears and Yuzuru’s heart sank. “How could you?”

Jason looked just as prone to tears. “Shoma, I had to,” he whimpered. “It- it’s better-“

“I can’t sleep,” Shoma gritted out, tears streaking his face. “I can’t sleep and I can’t- I can’t focus. I barely eat anything. Itsuki thinks I’m having a mental breakdown and tried to get me a therapist. You don’t seem to understand how badly I need you, Jason,” he sniffled. “You’re my best friend. I wake up to messages from you and go to bed knowing you’ll wake up to mine. I talk to you about things I can’t talk to anybody else about. I can be myself with you and you don’t care.” He whimpered and shook his head. “I can’t- I can’t live like this.”

“Shoma, please don’t cry,” Jason whimpered, already crying too. 

“I’m sorry,” Shoma said almost desperately. “I’m sorry I fell in love with you. I promise, I won’t push you about being my boyfriend again, I’m okay not changing anything. I just need my friend back. I need you so much,” he choked out, voice breaking. 

Yuzuru gaped, looking around to see Jun had definitely heard what he said. He put his hands to his chest, fighting the ache in his heart over his sweet friend being heartbroken. It didn’t help that Jason looked _shattered_ at that confession.

“You love me?” he asked, almost desperately, and Shoma gave a brittle, heartbroken laugh.

“Yes, you dumbass. How can you not know? You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted,” he said weakly. “But- But I can settle. Just please come back. Please don’t leave me alone anymore,” he begged desperately. 

Jason burst into sobs. “I’m sorry,” he cried, and the second he held out a hand, Shoma stepped into his arms, balanced on tiptoe at the very edge of the ice. “I thought it would be easier I thought a clean break was the answer!”

“You’re fucking stupid then,” Shoma sobbed, clinging to him, his face pressed into Jason’s chest since Jason had on skates and he had on sneakers. “I don’t need a boyfriend, I just need you, I promise.”

“I should have at least considered it,” Jason blurted out. “I should have thought about it not been so scared that I freaked out.”

“I shouldn’t have sent you that video, I’m sorry, I felt so dirty after, I cried so much!

“I’m sorry I made you hurt so bad you wanted to hurt me back!”

“Please don’t leave me,” Shoma begged again and Jason shook his head.

“I won’t, I’m sorry-“

“Uh, as heartwarming as this psychotic display is,” Brian said sarcastically and it snapped Yuzuru out of watching the scene unfold before him. Brian had his hands on his hips and looked like an angry chicken. Yuzuru giggled a little at that thought. “Mr. Uno, why the fuck are you at my rink?” Brian asked bluntly, unable to hold it back due to the truth curse.

Shoma looked startled and then flushed, seeming to finally realize why what he did was _utterly insane_. “Uh, uh, I-“

Jason turned around, holding Shoma’s hands behind his back and kind of shielding him from Brian’s potential anger, which Yuzuru found cute. “Brian, don’t be mad at him. It’s my fault he got so angry and hurt. Get mad at me for the interruption, not him.”

Brian looked surprised. “I’m already pissed at most of you, it’s nothing new.”

Shoma spoke up, stepping to the side, though Yuzuru was glad he didn’t even bother attempting English. “I’m sorry to interrupt your training. I happen to be in Toronto for a while and I got to thinking about Jason and got really upset and before I could think more clearly, I had taken a cab here and decided to yell at Jason. Then as soon as I started yelling I was more sad and just wanted him to forgive me.”

Jason looked at him with sad eyes, and Yuzuru rolled his eyes and decided to translate. “Shoma say he here in Toronto for while and think about Jason and go into bitch fit and come here in taxi to yell at Jason then see Jason and get sad because Jason break his heart and he only want Jason to be friend again now.”

“Who taught you ‘bitch fit’?” Javier blurted out, looking amused.

Yuzuru tried to stop it but couldn’t. “It what Conrad call it when Brian get crazy and mad.”

Tracy hummed. “Alright. Interesting.” She smiled at Shoma. “Hi, welcome to Toronto, good to see you’re well. Now please leave immediately and be glad we don’t have security at the rink to think you’re a psycho fan coming to kill us all.”

Yuzuru cackled because she clearly didn’t mean to say that last part. “You understand?” he asked Shoma, who was flushed with embarrassment.

“I understand enough,” he muttered. “I’m gonna go die of embarrassment now. Maybe check into a mental hospital to see why I did something so insane.”

“Because you love him and love makes you do crazy stuff,” Yuzuru blurted out, then cleared his throat as they both blushed at him. “Goodbye, Shoma, you should go before Brian really gets angry.”

Jason looked at Shoma and bit his lip. “Do you still have my address saved?” Shoma nodded. “Come over in about three hours if you can, we can talk,” he said, and Shoma nodded, looking less afraid. 

“Okay, see you soon,” he said, then bowed repeatedly to Brian as he backed to the door. “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” he muttered, then all but ran the last few feet, wrenched the door open, and sprinted out.

Jason watched him go with a fond look and Yuzuru snorted. “And I thought I went crazy sometimes,” he muttered, and Tracy sighed.

“Alright. That was… interesting. Let’s get back to work, shall we?” she asked, clapping her hands together.

Brian groaned. “I’m going to have to have a talk with every fucking skater in the field about propriety and being batshit insane and I only coach a handful of you assholes.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked when I think this fic might be done. I am thinking at least two more chapters. I need to resolve Yuzuru/Javi and the truth curse. It is likely it will be more than 2 as I am working on the one after this and it is far from finished. 
> 
> Maybe not another tomorrow because I already had these edited but I doubt my editor will do 3 chapters in 3 day.

Ever since the truth spell overcame them, Conrad had avoided most people. He wasn’t ashamed of blurting out truths, but it made people uncomfortable, and he didn’t want to be a dick. When he ended up in the locker room with just Jun after training – one in which Brian and Tracy kept commenting on Shoma Uno of all people for some reason – he couldn’t help but ask. “Hey, so, what was that about Shoma Uno?” 

Jun blinked at him, then blushed. “Um, so you know all the drama with Jason and Shoma?” he asked, and Conrad nodded. It was hard to miss. “This morning, Shoma just burst into training and yelled at Jason and they argued then they cried and hugged. Seems Shoma is here for something and he cracked and had to have it out with Jason, but they made up. I don’t know if they’re dating or not but they’re at least friends again.”

Conrad hummed. “Makes sense.” He sat on the bench, watching Jun get dressed. It wasn’t hard to see the ways that Jun tried to hide himself from Conrad. “Can we talk?” he blurted out, and Jun stilled. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I really miss you,” he confessed.

Jun pulled his shirt down and turned from his locker, looking Conrad in the eyes. “Um, yeah. Okay.” He walked over and sat beside Conrad, who looked at him even as Jun examined his sneakers closely. “What do you want to talk about?”

Conrad sucked in a breath. “I know this truth stuff sucks. And I know it’s come out that you think I’m hot. I don’t like, have an issue with that. I- I’m not sure what I think about you. I think I like girls, but you’re my favorite person, so I don’t know.” Jun looked up at him in shock. “I’m just saying, it’s okay. To be confused. I mean, at our age, who knows what the hell is going on?” he asked carefully.

Jun smiled weakly. “I’m not sure if I have a crush or anything, but you are really cute. I guess that mean I at least sort of like guys? I don’t know.” He sighed. “I’m just confused. I’ve spent my teen years focused on skating. I mean-“ He flushed, clamping his lips shut, but Conrad smiled and leaned forward.

“You just what?” he asked.

Jun blushed. “I’ve never even kissed anybody. How could I know if I like boys or not?” he asked shyly.

Conrad grinned. “Well, I’ve kissed a few girls, but that doesn’t mean for sure I just like them.” Jun looked curious and Conrad chuckled. “A lot less pressure on me. I’m a little older than you and I’m still a junior from Canada. I have time to go out.”

Jun smiled bashfully. “Yeah, I’m kind of limited. I’m no Yuzuru, but I’m from the same country as Kim Yuna. It’s hard to live up to being the first person since her to really be a threat, you know?”

“Yeah, I’d be fucking terrified if people put all their faith in me to be Patrick Chan,” he said bluntly. He looked at Jun’s blush. “It’s okay, you know? If you like me? I mean, you’re special to me. I don’t know if I like you, but we’re friends, right? You figure this stuff out as you grow up. At least I hope so.”

Jun snickered. “Jason’s only a week younger than Yuzuru and he’s never had a boyfriend. I’m not sure anybody ever figures it out.”

Conrad grimaced. “Don’t tell me that, dude. I’m freaking out about this whole ‘adult’ thing as it is.” 

After a long pause, Jun looked at him, chewing on his lip. “Conrad? Can I ask you something so stupid that you can totally say no to?”

Conrad grinned and nodded. “Anything.”

Jun blushed and smiled shyly. “Will you be my first kiss?” he asked in almost a whisper. “It doesn’t have to be a thing. Just- just I trust you. You’re my best friend,” he said softly.

Conrad felt butterflies he didn’t have any experience in feeling but swallowed hard and nodded. “Um, yeah. Okay.” He cleared his throat. “Now?”

Jun shrugged, blushing. “Now is as good as any time, right?”

“Yeah, guess so,” Conrad agreed. He held Jun’s gaze for a while before sighing. “Okay, um. Here I go?” Jun giggled, which relaxed him some. Jun was so cute when he was amused. Conrad leaned closer, and when Jun closed his eyes in anticipation, he felt the nerves leave him. This was his best friend. Someone he loved so much even if it wasn’t romantic. Why wouldn’t he want his best friend’s first kiss to be with someone he was comfortable with?

Conrad’s lips touched Jun’s and he decided to make it a good first kiss. He raised a hand to cup Jun’s cheek, gently stroking his cheekbone as he kissed him, their lips moving against each other chastely before he dared lick at the same of Jun’s lips. Jun whimpered a bit, and met his tongue very tentatively before the kiss gently slowed to a series of caressing lips, and then a few pecks before they parted. Jun sucked in a breath and smiled, looking at him from inches away. “Wow,” he breathed, beaming.

Conrad grinned. “Good first kiss?” he asked cheekily and Jun giggled, ducking his head.

“Um, yeah. Thanks. For that,” he said, putting his hands over his face. “Oh my God, I just had my first kiss.”

Conrad smirked and smacked him on the back. “You’re welcome,” he said, hiding his shaking hands once he put them under his thighs. 

This was all fine. They had plenty of time to figure things out as they got older. Jun was his friend. They would have a long time to wait and see what happened in the future.

~

Jason barely had time to shower and panic about the mess in his apartment before there was a knock at his door. He took a few deep, calming breaths before opening the door. 

Shoma looked so small as he looked up at him. To be physically small, Shoma’s presence was so big and bright. Even when he was sleepy and shy, he just had this spark that made everybody want to pay attention to him. Now, looking so afraid and anxious, he seemed miniscule.

“Hi,” Jason breathed softly.

“Um, hi,” Shoma greeted.

They stood, just staring for a while before Jason snapped out of it and stepped back to let Shoma in. He shut the door with a heavy sigh and a quick nod to himself. He could do this.

~

Shoma had never been to this apartment. He had been to Jason’s house once before when he lived in Colorado, but this place was so clearly Jason’s home alone. Every accent screamed Jason Brown. Shoma smiled faintly at the art on the walls. Prints of artwork of himself, most likely gifts from fans, and sketches of cherry blossoms. 

“Would, uh, would you like some water or something?” Jason asked, and Shoma turned around, shaking his head.

“No,” he said, looking up at Jason. He looked just as scared as Shoma felt, which made him feel less afraid ironically. “We need to talk. Really talk.”

Jason nodded, sitting on the couch and indicating Shoma should join him. “I know. I’m- I’m so sorry,” he said, frowning as if he was in pain. “If you will let me explain, I’ll listen to anything you want to say. And I can’t lie, so every word I say will be the truth.”

Shoma nodded, swallowing. “Okay.”

Jason hesitated and then spoke slowly. “I’m not ashamed of being gay. But I’m terrified of becoming a ‘gay skater’.” Shoma frowned in confusion and Jason continued. “Every time a skater comes out as gay, that’s all anybody talks about. You’re suddenly supposed to be some big idol for other gay people and gay athletes and if you aren’t gay enough or if you’re too gay, everybody has something to say about it.” He gestured to himself. “It’s very obvious I’m gay. Nobody would ever think ‘oh Jason Brown is probably straight’. But until I address it, nobody will say anything.”

Shoma nodded slowly. “I- I can understand that,” he said softly.

Jason nodded. “I’ve never even tried to get a boyfriend because I’m so scared of that. And that’s just the people who aren’t homophobes who will leave nasty comments about me. It’s a lose-lose situation. I’m criticized for not being the perfect model of ‘the gay athlete’ from those who support gay people, and I get hate from bad people.”

Shoma understood. He could easily understand that fear. But it still didn’t fix anything. “But Jason, I can’t ever be out. You know that. You wouldn’t have to worry about any of that,” Shoma said carefully. “I understand why you're scared but what does it have to do with whether or not you date me?”

Jason smiled sadly. “Because we could always get caught. It isn’t always your choice to come out or not.”

“We could get caught now,” Shoma stressed. “Jason, we have sex in hotel rooms surrounded by skaters, the most gossiping people in the world. We’ve always had a risk of being caught. And we’re not really subtle with flirting in public. I’ve seen stuff on youtube, we’re super obvious when we’re together.”

Jason blushed. “Are we? I thought it looked friendly.”

Shoma gave him a flat look. “People have caught on to the fact that I never smile as much as when you’re the person I’m looking at. It’s not anything too obvious, sure, but it’s obvious to people who know me. Do you really think Itsuki doesn’t know about us having sex? I’ve never told him, and he’s never caught us, but he definitely knows.”

Jason deflated some. “I’m not shocked. I just- I’ve been so scared for so long, Shoma.”

Shoma blushed. “I’m sorry that I sent you that video. That was cruel. I just- I was so hurt and I wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry it hurt you so bad you just- just thought life would be easier without me in it.”

“It wasn’t,” Jason said in a pained voice. “I hated myself. I was so upset. I missed you every day. I’m so sorry, Shoma,” he said, tears gathering in his eyes. “I would rather have you in my life than stay ambiguous about my sexuality.”

Shoma’s heart ached as he saw tears in Jason’s eyes and heard the desperation in his voice. “But Jason, I can’t force you to date me. It’s not fair. It doesn’t have to be that way or no way. It’s wrong for me to try and make you date me or make you cut me out of your life.”

Jason shook his head, one lone tear breaking free. “I’m not giving in to your demand, I’m changing my mind.” 

Shoma’s breath stopped. He looked at Jason with wide eyes. “You… you change your mind?” he asked, trying so hard not to get his hopes up.

Jason nodded. “I never realized the difference between friendship love and romantic love. I had no idea you were in love with me because nothing ever seemed different. You saying that today made me realize that-“ He took a breath and a small, careful smile crossed his lips. “It made me realize that I’m in love with you, too. Shoma. I probably have been for a long, long time.”

Shoma couldn’t help the shocked smile that crossed his face. He felt like he was standing atop a podium at worlds. Only better. “You love me?” he asked shyly, and Jason nodded, laughing a little, looking entirely giddy.

“I love you, Shoma.”

Shoma couldn’t have resisted the urge to kiss Jason if he tried, but seeing as Jason moved the same time he did, they met in a loving embrace, smiling lips pressed together in a rather terrible yet perfect kiss.

~

After witnessing the stress Brian was under from Jason’s friend being very public and dramatic, Javier tried his best to avoid Yuzuru so that Brian wouldn’t have to deal with the stress. He tried to keep it professional if he saw Yuzuru at the rink. He avoided him in the lounge and locker room areas. He was ready to wait it out, give Brian time to cool down, and hopefully wait for this stupid truth spell to pass. It wasn’t ideal, and he could see Yuzuru’s hurt eyes every time he made up an excuse to avoid him. 

Javier hated himself for hurting Yuzuru, but Brian was important to him, too, and Brian was clearly getting very close to snapping.

What really pushed him to stick to his decision was the morning he got to work and Brian was sitting at his desk at seven o’clock with his head in his hands and red-rimmed eyes. 

“Brian? Are you okay?” Javier asked, leaning against his open office door. 

Brian chuckled weakly and his voice sounded scratchy. “Not really,” he said, voice hoarse. “I’m not one to show a lot of emotions, but I have a pounding headache from crying last night.”

Javier blinked in confusion. “Crying?” he asked. Brian didn’t cry. He got angry when he was upset, he didn’t cry. “What happened?”

Brian hummed, rubbing at his forehead. “I’m pretty sure Raj is leaving me,” he said, his voice tighter at the end of his sentence. Javier’s heart sank to his stomach. 

“Oh no, what’s wrong?”

Brian sighed, leaning back. “Relationships are not easy when you can’t lie. Lying is bad, but sometimes the truth hurts worse than a lie. We’ve been fighting since this happened, and last night, when I got home, he was packing a bag.” Javier felt ill. “He said he thinks it’s best if we take some time apart, so he’s going to stay at a hotel for now.” Brian smiled weakly. “He didn’t say for how long.” 

“Shit,” Javier said bluntly and Brian nodded, looking down at his hands.

“Eleven years,” Brian whispered. “I don’t really think I know who I am without him,” he said, then groaned, rubbing his hands into his eyes. “Fuck, I can’t do this today. I just can’t.” He put his palms on the desk and stood up. “Javi, your first test as a trainee is today. You’re taking over for Evgenia and Jun’s training session. I can’t do this today. I just can’t,” he said, looking desperate.

Javier nodded, swallowing back a lump in his throat at the man who had been like a father to him for so long, a man who had basically raised him while he was so far from home, suffering so badly. “Okay. You can count on me.” He walked over and, without warning, hugged Brian. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. I really, really hope this ends soon.”

Brian sighed, patting his back. “Yeah, me, too.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My editor is a rock star. I don't know how she edits so fast. You are AMAZING!!!
> 
> Anyways, this is really like a PT. 1 of 3 of the end of the story. There are 3 chapters until it is over. Maybe an epilogue. I had more written than I realized.

Javi was avoiding him. Yuzuru was sure of it. They hadn’t talked since they slept together, and Yuzuru was slowly going mad from it. It was implied that night that this wasn’t supposed to have just been a little thing. It was implied that there were feelings. Feelings Javi also had. Javier had asked him to come home with him and kissed him goodbye like this was the start of something, not just a bad decision.

Instead, Javi wasn’t even talking to him like a friend anymore. It was breaking his heart. Because of this, when he spotted Javi fixing himself a cup of coffee, he headed over immediately. “Javi? You can talk with me?” he asked innocently.

Javier smiled. “I’m on my way to train JunHwan and Evgenia, but I’ve got a minute. What’s wrong?”

Yuzuru gave him a pointed look. “You are,” he said, and Javier’s casual smile fell into something more guarded. “You are avoid me. I want to talk about thing we did. You know,” he said with a stress that left nothing to the imagination. 

“Yuzuru, stop,” Javier said firmly but in an exhausted tone. “You know why we can’t talk about that.”

Yuzuru crossed his arms. “No, I do not know this, Javier,” he said, making it clear he was unhappy. He only ever called him Javier if he was angry or upset. “We have sex.”

“Yuzuru,” Javier warned, looking around. “Not here, not now-“

“Then when?!” Yuzuru burst out. “Javi, you never let me talk! It has been almost whole week and you never are talking to me! We have _sex_ and you do not let me talk and it make me really scared.” He cringed. He hadn’t meant to say that last part.

Javier groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “Yuzuru, I don’t want to talk about it because we need to forget it happened.” Yuzuru flinched like he had been hit, because his stomach twisted so fast it almost made him feel sick. He expected shame, not Javier wanting to pretend they never did it.

“I cannot forget first time,” he said in what he knew was a tiny voice. He almost felt betrayed that Javi would suggest it. “I do not want that I forget,” he added.

Javier took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Yuzuru. It was a mistake-“

“But why?” Yuzuru asked meekly. “I do not understand. Javi act like we will talk tomorrow that night, but then never talk. I want understand.”

“Because it can never happen again,” Javier said firmly, jaw clenched like he was forcing himself to speak. “Forget it happened, Yuzuru. Because it’s never going to happen again.”

As Yuzuru’s eyes began to sting and his lungs grew tight, he could only think that he had wondered once what a broken heart felt like. This felt like an asthma attack and grief all rolled into one feeling. He felt helpless and like he couldn’t breathe and like he had lost something too precious to ever be replaced. It was hell. It also made him feel the need to give Javier a fraction of that hurt right back even as Javier spotted his tears and tried to stop him from crying. His heartbreak gave him thoughts that had never crossed his mind before, but that he knew were true if he could say the words out loud. And he knew those words would hurt.

“Yuzu, please don’t cry. There are reasons we can’t do this. I’m not doing this to hu-“

“I wish you never come back here.”

Yuzuru turned and ran, his heart breaking even more because that was true. He had missed Javi so bad but if it could undo this hurt he was feeling, he truthfully wished Javier had stayed in Spain. 

He never saw the wrecked expression on Javier’s face as he watched him run away.

~

Jason woke up and opened his eyes to see the most beautiful sleeping face he had ever seen across from him. He smiled blindingly at the memory of last night. Amazingly, he and Shoma hadn’t had sex, they just got in bed and talked for hours. Jason was embarrassed by some of the stuff he confessed while unable to help it, but for the most part, they opened up to each other and discussed their plans for this relationship. 

Jason was in a relationship.

“Oh my God,” he sighed, putting his face into the pillow at the giddy rush of love and joy that filled him. Shoma was his _boyfriend_. He had a boyfriend. They decided to be boyfriends. They would tell their families and friends, but they both wanted to remain single in the eyes of those that might gossip. They wouldn’t see each other very often, especially since Jason did US Ice Shows and traveled in the summer instead of the Japanese circuit a lot of skaters did. They agreed on a vacation together. They wanted to go to some remote island in the Mediterranean and spend two weeks just being together and swimming in the sea and just hanging out. They agreed to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day, even if that was the only message they had time to send. They agreed that Shoma would meet Jason’s parents. They promised to be faithful to each other, though Shoma pointed out he’d only ever had webcam sex with a stranger once, so it wasn’t like he had any reason to not be faithful. 

They also agreed that recordings or photos were too risky, but webcam sex and phone sex were okay as long as neither of them recorded it. Shoma agreed that, until the truth spell was fixed, he wouldn’t use it to force Jason to tell him something he didn’t want to tell willingly. Then they just spent hours catching up on what they had done while they weren’t talking. Mostly it involved being sad about each other, but Jason also told Shoma how well his training was going. He told him that the sal and toe were both solid now and Brian was trying to decide if he should start him on training a harder quad or just work on making those two +5GOE jumps. Shoma’s suggestion was the quad lutz since Jason’s lutz was so clean already. But then he pointed out that if Jason nailed a quad lutz, they were all going to lose, even Yuzuru. 

They had fallen asleep just holding hands and cuddling in bed together. Waking up with Shoma still there was incredible. Jason couldn’t help himself. He wiggled closer and wrapped his arms around Shoma’s middle, hugging him close. He kissed his forehead, then his eyelids, then the tip of his nose. By the time he got to Shoma’s lips, Shoma was scrunching his face up adorably. “Nnnnnng.” Shoma raised a hand to rub his nose and then sneezed adorably at the tickle. Jason ducked out of the way of a sneeze to the face just in time, and Shoma blearily opened his eyes, only to pout when he saw two eyes right there. “Mmmm?” he hummed in confusion.

Jason fell more in love with Shoma than ever at that moment. “Good morning, Sho,” he whispered, and Shoma smiled sleepily, blinking slowly.

“Mmmm, good morning.” He stretched and yawned, then rolled over until his head was under Jason’s chin and he could wrap an arm around his middle. “Warm.”

Jason closed his eyes and hugged him, kissing the top of his head. He nuzzled his hair, only to open his eyes and smirk when he felt Shoma’s hips press against his thigh. He bit his lip and shifted his thigh, pressing it against Shoma’s crotch. Shoma grunted. “You’re so dirty,” Shoma mumbled.

Jason giggled. “So you don’t want to?”

“I never said I wasn’t dirty, too,” Shoma said, sliding his hand down to rest on Jason’s ass instead of his waist. He pulled back and Jason saw the smirk on his face. “I mean. I am in bed with my _boyfriend_ ,” he teased and Jason beamed.

“Heck yeah you are,” he said, then dipped his chin down to kiss Shoma. Shoma sighed against his lips, squeezing the handful of ass he had, making Jason squeak. “Hey Shoma. Want to fuck me?”

Shoma raised an eyebrow. “ _You_ are gonna bottom?” he asked skeptically. Jason blushed but nodded, pecking his lips again. It wasn’t that Jason never bottomed, but in general, Jason was just more of a top. Shoma was okay with either, so usually, the times they had hooked up, Jason topped him. But the two times Shoma had fucked him, Jason really liked it. 

“Can I ride you?” Jason asked, kissing Shoma teasingly. “Mmmm, Shoma,” he purred.

Shoma groaned, rocking his hips forward, hand still squeezing Jason’s ass. “Who the fuck would turn that down?” he asked, gasping as Jason kissed his jaw, teeth just grazing the hard bone. He tilted his head back and Jason moved to his throat, pushing Shoma onto his back so he could climb on top of him, kissing and sucking at his throat. “Jason!”

“Mmmm. Shoma,” he purred, rubbing his entire body against Shoma’s as he slid back and sat up, watching Shoma as he took his shirt off, making sure to flex his muscles as he did so, from abs to forearms. 

“Fuck, you got even hotter,” Shoma groaned, hand going instantly to Jason’s stomach. “Goddamn it, how do you do this?” he asked, tracing the line of his abs. “I’m in really good shape. How the fuck do you get abs?” he grumbled.

Jason smirked. “A lot of work,” he said, winking. Shoma sat up and _licked_ a line up Jason’s abs as he did so, looking up at him the whole time. Jason couldn’t really breath. Shoma struggled out of his own shirt, and then immediately wrapped his arms around Jason as he kissed his chest, pausing to lap at one of his nipples to make him shiver. “Mmmm. Shoma!”

“I’m going make you come so hard,” Shoma threatened, falling back down and bringing Jason with him. They kissed frantically as Shoma shoved his hands into the back of Jason’s pants. Jason got off of him long enough to lose his pants – Shoma doing the same while Jason scrambled to get lube and a condom – and when he came back, he wasted no time kissing Shoma hard and desperate. Shoma also wasted no time at all biting at Jason’s throat as he pressed his slick fingers into Jason’s ass. Jason whined again and Shoma moved to kiss him, distracting him from the quick and not as thorough as it should be prep. 

However, Jason didn’t seem that patient, either. He shoved Shoma onto his back and rolled the condom onto Shoma quickly and efficiently. Shoma sat half-propped by the pillows, so he had a perfect view when Jason took him deep inside with a breathy whine of pleasure. Shoma grunted, nails digging into Jason’s thighs as he took him inside. Jason loved the feeling of Shoma inside of him. He was the perfect size. Not so big it hurt – oh if the world knew about Daisuke Takahashi’s penis – and not too small to stretch him so good. Jason was distracted from the pleasure by Shoma giggling. He frowned down at him.

“What’s funny right now?” he asked.

Shoma looked up at him, smirking. “I’ve been inside you twice in one year and it’s still only the third time I’ve topped.”

Jason smirked, rolling his hips. “Not exactly on top now,” he teased, and Shoma grinned back at him. 

“I’m more than okay with that,” Shoma said, teasingly patting his leg. “Good job.”

Jason snorted, leaning in to kiss him. “Stop making me laugh while I’m riding you,” he said, though he really didn’t mean it. Sex like this felt special. They were _boyfriends_ now and their first time s boyfriends was _fun_. For some reason that just felt right. They had been so serious these last few weeks, whether fighting or making dramatic declarations. 

Now they could just be themselves together while sharing love and pleasure. They were silly guys. Shoma was sarcastic and hilarious and Jason was giddy and excited all the time. Together, they were just fun people. Jason loved that Shoma was smiling at him during sex. Sure, a passionate, sweaty, erotic Shoma was amazing, but this Shoma look so happy.

“I can’t believe I let fear make me almost give this up,” Jason murmured, kissing Shoma as he worked his hips slowly. “Your smile is the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”

Shoma smirked, nipping at Jason’s lip playfully. “You should look in the mirror sometime.” 

“You’re sweet,” Jason said, his heart fluttering. He closed his eyes and moaned when Shoma thrust up as he came down and hit that perfect spot inside of him. “Oh, Shoma,” he panted. 

“Yeah?” Shoma teased and Jason clenched some in retaliation, making Shoma whine. “Point taken.”

“Yeah,” Jason said, peppering kisses along Shoma’s jaw. “You feel so good. I should ride you more. I always forget how good bottoming feels.”

Shoma sighed, thrusting lazily to meet him every time he rocked back onto him. “I don’t mind topping more often, I’m just lazy,” he confessed and Jason giggled.

“Of course you like to bottom so you don’t have to do the work,” Jason teased, humming pleasantly as a spike of pleasure that skittered up his spine. “Are you getting close?”

“Not really, why, are you?” Shoma asked, smirking suddenly. “Damn, is my dick that good?”

Jason swatted at his chest playfully. “No, I just need my thighs for training in a little while. Wanna stop being lazy and fuck me?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Shoma said, and they separated long enough to swap positions, Shoma groaned as he slid into Jason, leaning down to kiss him. “Can I come watch you train? I know we’re competition, but I really want to see you skate as your boyfriend, not to scope you out.”

Jason grunted some as Shoma’s thrust hit him a little harder. “I’m okay with it, but Brian may not let you.”

“Okay,” Shoma said, then kissed him sweetly. “Thinking about you jumping quads makes me horny,” he confessed and Jason giggled and tugged him down, kissing him firmly.

“Good thing we’re already fucking, then," he said and Shoma’s response was to speed up his thrusts and kiss him breathless. 

They stopped talking after that.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it's ass-o'clock as I land in Germany. I hate some of my travel times. However, I found this in my inbox (my editor is a beast!) so enjoy it while I enjoy German hospitality!
> 
> ENJOY THE PLOT TWIST AT THE END!

Tracy could tell something was off with Yuzuru. They were all struggling from the stupid curse and nobody had any clue where they could even start in trying to end the curse. So much was messed up in their lives right now and it was killing them all slowly. 

But when she found Yuzuru crying, she didn’t know what else had happened but knew it had to be due to the truth curse. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?” she asked, kneeling down in front of where he was sitting in the stairwell arms around his knees as he sobbed into them.

Yuzuru lifted his head and she could see nothing but anguish in that sweet face. “Javi hurt me so much,” he blurted out, and before she could even freak out he sat up. “Not hurt, he not hurt me, he-“ He touched his chest. “This hurt.”

She calmed down and groaned. “Oh, Yuzu.” She sat down beside him and put a hand on his back. “What happened?”

“We never talk about having sex, he always avoid me, so today I try to talk to him.” Yuzuru’s bottom lip wobbled and Tracy hated that sight so much. He always cried so easily that when he was really, really hurt, it was extreme. “He tell me to forget it happen, but I don’t want to! It was my first time and it was special to me why would I want forget this?” he said frantically. It was always funny how his English got better when he was angry or upset.

Tracy hated that damn curse when she blurted out, “Honey, you had drunk sex in the backseat of his car, how special could it be, really?”

He gave her a betrayed look. “Because I do it with Javi,” he whimpered and Tracy felt her heart break just a little more. “I love him so much for such long time,” he gasped, a fresh wave of tears coming. “That night, he act like this is- is something. Beginning of more than just be friends. He say ‘we talk tomorrow’ and then he just stop talking to me at all! He avoid me and when I finally demand answer, he say it will never happen again so I must forget.” He doubled over, shoulders shaking as he cried. “How anything hurt so bad, Tracy?” he asked, sniffling weakly. 

Tracy had a good idea why Javier did what he did. She hated to be the one to tell Yuzuru, but someone had to. “Yuzuru, I know this won’t make you feel any less hurt,” she started gently. “But you do understand, Javi is a coach in training right now.” He gave her a look as if she had suddenly gone stupid.

“Yeah, I know this,” he said slowly.

She smiled sadly. “Yuzu, I don’t think you’re stupid and forgot, I’m explaining in detail. Javier is an employee of this club. Even Brian and I are like his supervisors, not his boss. And I have a good idea someone found out he slept with you and told him that if he ever messed up like that again, he would lose his job.” 

Yuzuru frowned. “But why? I am adult. He is adult. Both are older than legal age of sex anywhere we ever been. What happen in my bed is not Cricket Club business.”

She nodded. “That’s true, but what happens in his bed with a skater who trains under our coaching staff _is_ ,” she explained. “He’s lucky he didn’t get fired already. That’s a serious wrong he did. Coaches cannot sleep with skaters.”

Yuzuru glared. “Maybe not little skater, but I know of coaches married to skaters, that so stupid!”

“Yeah, and that’s scandalous and seriously pushing a line,” Tracy said firmly. “Listen, it isn’t illegal, but it raises questions. Sure, you’re an adult who wanted it, but if we let a coach date a skater, it brings up the fact that there is a separation of authority and just because you and Javi have been friends for a long time before he became a coach, he now has responsibilities he didn’t as a skater.”

Yuzuru looked even more hurt. “So he- he never can be with me even if he changes mind?” he whispered, and Tracy cringed when she was another round of tears coming. “I hate this so much,” he choked out, doubling over to cry into his knees again. 

Tracy sighed and hugged him, rubbing his back. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

~

Javier did okay with Jun and Evgenia, but he decided to ask Tracy if she could help with Jason and Yuzuru since they would be jumping quads and he wasn’t as used to knowing how to coach them without telling them his technique. Junhwan and Evgenia’s sessions had been focused on cleaner landings and better height, but someone had to work with Jason and Yuzuru and Brian was still MIA even though he had only asked Jason to work the early sessions.

He also needed her there to be a buffer. If he had to look at the heartbreak in those beautiful eyes he loved so fucking much it would kill him. 

Yuzuru and Tracy were running a little late but Jason was right on time, with Shoma in tow. Javier sighed, giving him a look. “Jason. You know Shoma can’t watch you train jumps. If it was just stroking it would be okay, but you can’t have competition watching you train.”

Jason raised an eyebrow. “And where’s Brian? I hear his words coming from a Spanish voice, but I still want to ask.”

“I’m training you today,” Javier said, and Jason frowned. 

“So Brian isn’t even here? Why can’t Shoma stay, then?”

Javier gave him a look. He was really starting to hate deciding to train to be a coach where he had friends, because being the boss of his peers was not fun. “Because I say he can’t. I’m not saying this as your friend Javi, I’m saying it as replacement Brian for the day,” he tried to clarify. “I’m not going to become the kind of lazy coach that lets skaters get away with stuff.”

Jason looked even more confused. “Where’s Brian, Javi?”

“He’s gone today.”

“Who is gone?” They all looked up to see Tracy and Yuzuru coming their way. Yuzuru looked around. “Oh, it Brian? Where he is?”

“He went home before training began this morning,” Javier said, smoothly navigating the truth spell. And he felt no compulsion to tell the other details so he was able to keep them in.

“What, he did?” Tracy asked. “I was busy, I had no idea. Where did he go?”

“I don’t know,” Javier said honestly. 

Tracy looked worried. “Why wouldn’t he tell me he was leaving?”

Javier groaned, feeling the compulsion coming on. “Because he’s upset and couldn’t take it today.”

Yuzuru frowned adorably, even if Javi could see the redness in his eyes still. “What? Why Brian not okay?”

Javier fought to not say it, but the best he could do was speak a truth without overdoing it. “Because of what happened with Raj.”

Tracy instantly got worried. “Wait, did Raj get hurt? Is he in the hospital? Is he sick? Nobody bothered telling me anything?!”

Finally, Javier couldn’t stop it, so he just hung his head and let it go. “Raj is leaving him.”

“Fuck,” Tracy blurted out, going white as a sheet. Everybody looked shocked at her swearing, but she turned around, grabbing her phone. “Fuck, fucking truth spell. Goddamn piece of shit curse. I swear to God, I hate this shit so bad. I thought my husband being pissed at me was bad enough, but if things got so bad that one of my oldest friends loses his partner over this shit, I’m gonna find whoever did this to us and choke the life out of them!” She stormed out while still ranting and they all stared after her, astonished. 

“Wow,” Shoma muttered, turning to Jason. Javier only understood a little Japanese, but he could work out Shoma was asking Jason what happened just now. 

Yuzuru looked somehow even more upset. “Maybe- maybe we just cancel this session,” he said, being uncharacteristically non-selfish. Javier didn’t really think of Yuzuru as selfish, but generally, Yuzuru was used to getting his way. To voluntarily suggest losing training time was not like him. But Javier knew why. He loved Brian just like Javier did. Knowing something so horrible was happening to their coach was really upsetting. It had to be even worse on the same day Javier ripped his heart out and crushed it. 

“I think that’s best,” Jason agreed, looking solemn and visibly tightening his hold on Shoma’s hand. 

Javier groaned. “I wish I could, but Brian would kill me if I let you two skip a session. How about this, we’ll take it easy. Shoma, just stay, it’s not worth arguing about,” he said. “We won’t tell Brian he was here,” he decided. He nodded to the ice. “You guys warm up.”

~

Tracy found Brian exactly where she thought she might: the bar they used to go to every Friday night when they were first building the training program together over a decade ago. She found him in their corner booth, away from the loud drunks, nursing a beer. They were both a little old to go drinking these days, and far too busy, but she knew he would want to come back to a place where they had high hopes and big dreams. “Hey, Stranger,” she said, sliding into the booth across from him.

Brian looked up and smiled wanly, though his eyes showed only despair. “Javi told you, huh?”

She nodded, leaning on the table on her elbows. “Is he really leaving you?” she asked carefully.

Brian sighed, shrugging. “Hell if I know. He decided we needed to ‘spend time apart’ and is staying at a hotel. He’s not moving out yet at least, but he can’t stand to be around me while I’m like this.” He groaned. “I just can’t believe this is my life. I genuinely figured I’d grow old with him, you know? Eleven years is a long time.”

She nodded, smiling sadly. “I did, too. I mean come on, I remember when you guys met. You acted like a teenager with a crush,” she said, and he smiled sadly at the memory. “This fucking truth curse,” she said and even he looked shocked at her cursing. She scoffed. “You think I work with those kids and don’t swear at them in my head?” 

“God, it’s still June. This training season is impossible with this stupid filter-failure,” he groaned. “I made Evgenia cry the other day and wanted to walk into oncoming traffic.”

Tracy grimaced. Brian had pulled a serious Papa Bear with that little girl. When they’d learned how she was used to being ‘coached’ – a good approximation of child abuse – it had made him livid and given him a major protective streak. Every time she failed, he felt like a bad coach because he was so attached to her. She was like a daughter to him within a month of having her in Canada. That on top of his partner issues had to be a real strain. She thought about poor Yuzuru and groaned. “Honestly, I think we’ll be lucky to keep Yuzuru from retiring at this point,” she said, and Brian looked surprised.

“Really? He has never seemed done to me.”

She smiled tightly. “He’s unable to focus on training with this crap going on, we’re not able to give him the training he deserves, and I found him crying in the stairwell because he finally cornered Javi to make him talk about their whole situation and it did not go how he thought it would.”

Brian huffed. “It better not have. I told Javier on no uncertain terms that if he started sleeping with a skater, I would have no choice but to tell the higher ups and let them fire him.”

She nodded tiredly. “Yeah, and I explained that to Yuzuru. He just got enraged on top of his heartbreak. I get their situation is special, but we cannot have a coach begin sleeping with a skater. We just can’t. I hate doing that to them, because God knows I’m pretty sure Yuzuru has been in love with that man since he was too young to know what it was. But if Javi is serious about his career as a coach, if he’s serious about learning from our program, that’s how it has to be.”

“And you think Yuzuru might retire over that?” Brian asked skeptically. “You really think Yuzuru Hanyu would retire just for a boy?” 

She raised an eyebrow. “I think he’ll retire because it hurts too much to be on the ice with the man who suggested he ‘forget it happened’ about his first time when he’s bee in love with him for so long,” she said, and Brian grimaced.

“Oh, Javi. Terrible way to go about that.” He sighed. “These kids, Tracy. I love them like family, but they’re killing me. I know it. My life is shorter every day I’m around them.”

She chuckled. “Yeah, try having actual children. It’s the same fucking thing, except they can’t retire and disappear from my life, I’m stuck with them until I die.” She sighed, sitting back in her chair. “I’m gonna go get us some shots,” she decided, and Brian snickered.

“Bring it on, Buddy.”

~

She had known all along that a Truth Curse could go wrong. She tried to find a time when the least number of people were on the ice. It was still more than she wished for, and she absolutely hated that so many would have to suffer, especially the children. However, she was desperate. All she wanted was to make them finally act on what was always there. She had watched for years as Yuzuru and Javier were drawn together like magnets, always lingering with their eyes and touches. She just wanted them to be happy, the way she recognized as fate’s intervention intended them to be. 

So when Yumi found Yuzuru crying on his bed when she got home, she felt horror in realizing that what she had done had gone very, very wrong.


	11. Chapter 11

Yumi came home from the grocery store to the sound of sobbing from her sons room. She dropped the bags and instantly rushed to him. She knew he was an emotional boy – it came with her DNA – but he was supposed to still be skating. “Yuzuru?! Yuzuru, are you okay?” She rushed into his room and stopped when she saw him lying on his bed, clinging to his Pooh-san, crying his eyes out. “Oh, Yuzuru,” she sighed, making her way carefully over to him. “My boy, what’s wrong?” she asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Yuzuru whimpered, looking up at her with a tearstained face and eyes so red it hurt her. “Mom, maybe- maybe we should go home.”

She frowned. “Yuzuru? It’s not time for ice shows yet. You still have early season training left.”

“No, I mean maybe I should quit,” he whimpered, crushing his eyes shut again. 

Yumi’s blood ran cold. “Yuzuru, what happened?” she asked, knowing already he wouldn’t be able to hold it in.

He let out a rough sob. “Everything is falling apart, Mom! There was something to happen. A- A curse. It made us all have to tell the truth and say what we’re thinking, and it’s ruined everything!” 

She bit back a wave of guilt and urged him to sit up. “Sweetheart, tell me what you mean?”

He looked at her with the most pitiful look in his eyes. “Well, not everything,” he amended. “Shoma-kun is now my training mate Jason’s boyfriend. They’re very happy and in love.” Yumi didn’t even know about that, but it was nice to know she had done something good for them. However, Yuzuru’s eyes fell closed and he hunched in on himself. “But the rest is all so bad. I don’t know how the young boys are, because they never come around. We all train apart so we don’t hurt each other. But the worst part is that Brian’s husband left him-“ Yumi’s eyes widened and she realized she _really_ messed up now. “And- and-“ Yuzuru burst into tears again. “Javi broke my heart.”

Yumi’s brain screeched to a halt, because- “Wait, what?”

Yuzuru looked up, looking fearful but too tired to fight it. “Mom, I’m gay. And I’ve been in love with Javi for so long. And- and-“ He hung his head, ears turning red. “The night I went out and had sex, I had sex with him.” Yumi clenched her fists and looked skyward with a silently mouthed, ‘thank you!’, but quickly resumed her blank expression in case he looked up. “But I thought when we parted he meant we would talk about it and-and become boyfriends, maybe. But he never talked and he started avoiding me and I finally cornered him and he said I should-“ He whimpered. “I should forget it ever happened, because it will never happen again.” He sobbed. “Mom, it hurts so much!” he cried, and Yumi groaned, pulling him into her arms.

“Oh my sweet boy,” she sighed, rubbing his back. 

He clung to her like he was a child, crying his heart out. “Why does it hurt so bad? Why would anybody want to love somebody if they know it hurts when they say no? I feel like my insides are dying and I’ll never be happy again! This is horrible!”

She rocked him slightly. “Oh, Yuzuru.” She looked up at the ceiling, trying to keep from crying as she soaked in the pain she had put her son through. She had thought it was the best way. But it seemed she helped one couple and then ruined people’s lives. “This is why I decided to never use my powers,” she groaned as regret washed over her in waves. 

After a moment of sniffling, Yuzuru pulled back some, frowning. “What?”

Yumi decided to just come clean. “Yuzuru.” She sat back and held his hands, looking into his beautiful eyes, so full of pain and anguish. “I think it’s time I tell you something about my family that you nor your father or sister knows.” She grimaced. “And confess to my wrongdoings.”

~

Yuzuru was still stunned and confused as he followed his mother into Brian’s office. He was pretty much in shock, he guessed. He didn’t even know why he had Pooh-san in his arms and two different colored shoes, he had been so confused when she called to ask everybody to come together at night after the skating was over. 

When they walked into the room, the last ones there, everybody instantly turned to look at them. Brian’s eyes slid over Yuzuru’s pale skin, his hands clutching Pooh-san like a lifeline, and his mismatched shoes, and he blurted out, “Wow, are you as drunk as we are?”

Yuzuru looked up in shock, only to see Tracy double over giggling, cheeks rosy and eyes glassy. “Oh my God, you two did drinking?!”

“Oh yeah, your mom called while we were on our sixth round of shots,” Tracy snickered, falling into Brian some where they sat on the couch. “Soooo drunk.” She then leaned against the other person on her other side and Yuzuru was even more shocked to see Raj there, looking at her and Brian distastefully. Brian was clearly using his drunkenness to ignore that his partner didn’t choose to sit at his side. 

“What’s going on here?” Javier asked, arms crossed as he sat at Brian’s desk. It was funny seeing him be the most responsible adult in the room. 

Yuzuru watched his mother take in the whole room; the three young boys, Joseph, Jun, and Conrad, who all seemed quiet and confused; Shoma and Jason, who were holding hands and looking confused but presenting a unified front; Tracy, Brian, and Raj, two of whom seemed very drunk and the third uncomfortable to say the least; and then Javi, who was sitting there looking glum and worn thin. He saw the guilt in her eyes growing until they finally met his own and she sighed, closing her eyes. “I have to tell you all something important, but first, Yuzuru, show them.”

“Wait, how do you speak English-“

“What do you mean, that was Japanese-“

“Uh, I definitely heard Korean just now-“

Yuzuru sucked in a breath. “Snow is warm, sunshine is green, grass blue, Pooh is baby toy, I six foot tall.” It seemed to take people a while to figure out what he just said, before JunHwan finally sat up straight.

“You can lie?!” he demanded, eyes wide. 

Yuzuru nodded, clearing his throat. “My mother. She- she tell you.”

He watched his mother nod, looking so small and unassuming. “The reason you hear me in your native tongue is that I think it is the best way to fully communicate what I’m about to tell you.” People all looked somewhere between stunned and terrified. “My mother was what in English you would call a Faerie. They have powers to persuade and direct people’s wills and actions. I have the same powers, though I am not as strong as a full-strength Faerie would be. Yuzuru being one-quarter is part of why he is so beautiful and graceful, but also why his healthy is so poor. He has no powers, but he inherited the innate beauty and charm that we have.” She looked at him and smiled. “Even with no powers, as his mother I know how hard it is to resist that beautiful face and sweet smiles.” She sighed, letting her shoulders drop. “I cast the Truth Curse on all of you.”

“Why?” Jun demanded, looking upset. “What did we ever do to deserve this?! It made me tell my mom I might like boys and it took until just yesterday before she would speak to me!”

Yuzuru’s heart ached and he saw his mother’s eyes dim. “I am so, so sorry, sweetheart,” she said gently. “I promise, I never intended for it to go so poorly or hurt so many of you.” She looked at Yuzuru briefly before turning back. “Before I go further, I must do this.” She held her palms together and Yuzuru watched in wonder as a glow emanated from her. However, rather than explode as it looked like it might, a slow, dexterous mist floated through the room, wrapping itself around those who were affected like a delicate vine. Everybody looked at it fearfully, as if the purple, glittery substance might attack, but it just faded slowly. She opened her eyes. “You can lie now. Try it.”

There was a long silence. Everybody seemed too afraid. However, after a moment, Joseph cleared his throat. “I just love two feet of snow all winter,” he said, then gasped. “Holy crap!”

After everybody tried it, lying in giant, over the top ways, Brian finally spoke. “Why would you do this?” he asked, though clearly still drunk but understanding what was happening. “Your actions damaged my relationship with my partner. Tracy’s cursing like a sailor. The kids are terrified of each other. Hell, Yuzuru has suffered as badly as any of us, and he’s your son!”

Yuzuru felt defensive of his mother, but at the same time, she had warned him not to try and argue on her behalf because she knew she had made a huge mistake. She nodded now. “I know. And I’m so sorry. I can’t fix what I did to you all. I hope you can all make amends and heal, but all I can do is defend my choices.” She looked at Yuzuru, who felt his lip wobble, already knowing why she did it. “Watching your child, the love of your life, the reason you exist suffering the way I have seen him suffer is unbearable. He has pined for the same person since he was seventeen years old. I was patient enough, trusting Fate to intervene, but the longer it went, the less it seemed likely.” She looked at Javier, whose jaw was clenched. “When you left for Spain, I feared he may never recover. He was so upset. He was heartbroken. When I heard you were back, I started to plan and practice. Your plans to move back to Spain sooner or later meant I had very little time to find a way to urge Fate along.”

Javier gritted his teeth. “You cursed the whole rink to try and make me confess my feelings to him? You think that was justified?”

She didn’t falter. “No. Not now. Now I see exactly why I told myself I would never use powers in my entire life.” She smiled sadly. “But I faltered. You of all people have to know how hard it is to watch Yuzuru suffer. I would give my life to make him happy, but he doesn’t need that. He needs you.”

“You were willing to curse a whole group of people for love?” Jason asked, looking neutral but very attentive. Jason had the most success but also a very rocky path to get there, Yuzuru knew that. “I got lucky. I almost gave up my soulmate because of this truth,” Jason said evenly. “That’s very serious consequences. Brian and his partner are fighting because of this spell. I understand you love your son, but even he isn’t happy.”

Yumi nodded. “I know. I understand better than any when he asked me how people survive a broken heart if it feels like life isn’t worth living with that much pain,” she said, voice straining. “I failed him and I hurt you all in the process.” She bowed her head. “I only ask that you blame me, not Yuzuru. He had no clue.” Yuzuru’s heart ached when she looked at Brian and he saw tears in her eyes. “Please. Don’t turn Yuzuru away from here just because of me. I will never interfere with your training program or skaters ever again.”

There was a very long silence before Brian blurted out, “Okay, I know we’re drunk, Tracy, but I’m pretty sure I’m high, too. Like. I haven’t smoked pot since the eighties and I’m definitely high as fuck.” He looked at her, swaying some. “Yuzuru’s mom just spoke English and said she’s a goddamn fairy. Like. What the fuck, right?”

“Oh my God, I thought it was just me!” Tracy said, and Brian giggled and they both high-fived. 

Raj sighed. “Alright. It was nice to meet you, Mrs. Hanyu. This is all insane. I’ll take care of the drunken middle-aged pair acting like teenagers again.” He stood up and grabbed Brian’s hand. “Come on, Love. Tracy, you too,” he said, grabbing her elbow to help her up. 

“Wait, dozen this mean you’re not dumping Brian?” Tracy slurred, then frowned. “Douse. Doos? Did?”

“Does,” Brian offered, and she snapped her fingers.

“Yeah, that’s the word!”

Raj sighed. “Dear God, I wasn’t planning on it, but if either of you puke on me or in my car on the drive home, I might divorce him. And we’re not even married.”

Joseph raised his hand and Javier sighed. “Seriously?” he asked, and Joseph rolled his eyes.

“Fine. Peace! I’m out! Glad I avoided most of the drama!”

Yuzuru smiled faintly as he left. He looked at Jun and Conrad, who both were blushing. “What’s wrong?” he asked them.

Jun giggled. “Nothing,” he said, then beamed. “Hey, I can lie!” he said, and Conrad grinned and high-fived him.

“Sweet. I want nachos, want some nachos, Jun?” he asked, and Jun nodded, both of them hopping up and leaving together, already discussing the perfect toppings for nachos. 

Sensing the departures happening, Jason stood up, tugging Shoma with him. “Good luck, Yuzu,” he said softly, stopping to give him a brief hug and bow to Yuzuru’s mother before he and Shoma left, fingers laced together securely. 

Yumi turned around and looked at Javier, who looked uncomfortable still. “Please, you both talk together,” she said, looking at Yuzuru. 

Javier sighed. “Not with you here, Mrs. Hanyu,” he said, still clearly angry at her. He looked at Yuzuru though and his anger faded from his eyes some. “Will you come with me?” he asked, and Yuzuru nodded rapidly.

“Always,” he promised, and then gave his mother one parting look before following Javier, who just turned and left, blindly trusting Yuzuru to follow.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this very long final chapter being posted, I want to thank my editor who wishes to remain anonymous. She is the true rock star. This whole fic came to be posted so quickly because she is so good at what she does. So thank you so very much!
> 
> Also, I'm letting you end on a long, happy, plot-twisty chapter that I was going to make a chapter and an epilogue, but decided not to. The epilogue is a very long scene of a certain nature that I figured most of you enjoy. If you don't like smut, just skip to the last section that starts with "When Javier shuffled into the kitchen" when you 'find in page' search that phrase. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading this fic and I really appreciate all the feedback here and on twitter! I am posting this before I go to bed on the last day of a pretty terrible business trip, so your support means everything. I love you guys <3

Yuzuru looked at Javier and honestly had no idea what he was thinking. “Javi?”

Javier got up and went to sit on the couch with a groan. “How is this real?”

“I do not know,” Yuzuru muttered. He went to sit beside Javi, leaving a gap between them. “I- I do not know how my mother have _magic_ ,” he stressed. He frowned. “I do not have magic, but she do. But I do not know why.”

“Yeah well, seeing your mother’s magic, I’m not sure you need it,” Javier said and Yuzuru smiled sadly.

“I think it is best, too.” He groaned, putting his face in his hand. “I cannot believe she do this to everybody.”

Javier chuckled dryly. “Honestly, I think I understand.” Yuzuru looked at him in shock and he saw Javier’s gaze on his face with a sad smile. “When you are hurting, the people who love you can’t stand it, Yuzuru. You’re so expressive and you exude your emotions on the rest of us. I guess maybe that is your ‘magic’.” Yuzuru held still while Javier examined his face. “It would explain why you’re so beautiful, too. You look just like your mother. Now we know why.” He sighed heavily. “What are we going to do, Yuzu?”

Yuzuru closed his eyes and faced ahead. “I think I am leaving.”

Javier was silent for a moment. “Leaving? Leaving what?”

“Skating,” Yuzuru said in a tight voice. “I- I think I quit. I think I go home. I leave this place. I never come back. After all this, I do not know how I can continue.”

“What?! Yuzuru, your mother is the one who did this, not you. This isn’t your fault. You know none of us will blame you-“

“It have nothing to do with that!” Yuzuru gritted out, fighting tears. He looked at Javi. “You do not understand. You are what I must be away from!” He felt pain like no other when he saw Javier flinch like he had hit him and look at him with so much helplessness. “What she say is true,” Yuzuru whimpered. “It feel like everything inside is dying. It feel like nothing ever will be good again,” he all but whispered. “I cannot heal from so much hurt if you are always in front.”

“You cannot quit skating because of me,” Javier all but begged.

Yuzuru looked straight ahead and shook his head. “I cannot continue because of you.” He stood up, deciding it was best to end it there before there could be any more hurt, but before he could do more than walk a single step, arms wrapped around his middle.

“No,” Javier said almost petulantly. Yuzuru sighed and turned to face him, only to have Javier hug him close and press his face into Yuzuru’s stomach. “You- you can’t-“ Javier’s shoulders shook and Yuzuru’s heart broke even more. He looked down at him as Javier’s words were muffled against his shirt. “Do you think I don’t hurt the same way?” Yuzuru’s eyes burned and he closed them against the sting. “Yuzuru, do you really think I don’t love you the same way you love me? Telling you we can’t be together was agony. Every day I can’t see your smile since then has been torture. It’s just like you said, everything hurts and I can’t imagine being happy ever again. I’ve had my heart broken before, but breaking yours is so much worse than any pain I’ve ever felt.”

Javier’s words were wet and Yuzuru couldn’t help but wrap his arms around Javier’s shoulders and sink a hand into his curls, holding him close as he cried silent tears into Yuzuru’s stomach. “I know why we cannot, now.” Yuzuru said almost emotionlessly. He was so far beyond pain that it was barely worth expressing it. “Tracy explains to me. I know you cannot be with me. Yes, you hurt so much too, but I am one person. You will be such amazing coach,” he whispered. He stroked Javier’s hair gently. “If you are with me, you cannot work here. If you want coach here and be with me, I must retire. I will not let Javi be reason I retire. I cannot take Javi from team here.” He closed his eyes and leaned down to kiss the top of Javier’s head. “I think it best I go home. Maybe do not retire right now. Let hurt heal and try again. But I think it best I do not see Javi and Javi do not see me.”

He gently pulled away, untangling Javier’s arms from his middle. Javier let out a whimpered, _No_ , but didn’t fight when Yuzuru released his wrists and stepped away. Instead, he left his head hanging, shoulders shaking with silent tears as Yuzuru turned to leave. 

~

Javier tried not to show reaction to the news that Yuzuru had officially decided to go home early from summer training. All the others seemed to understand entirely. After all the drama, a lot of the skaters were taking some time off. Even Jason was going to take his usual summer vacation time to go travel around with Shoma as he did his ice shows so that their newfound relationship had time to solidify without distance being so bad so early in the relationship. 

Javier tried not to feel hollow as he considered his options. He could go home like he planned, or just stay in Canada and try to not share his misery with his loved ones. For their last session of the summer training for a three-week gap, Javier was in charge of Tracy’s stroking practice so she could head home early. Brian was there, but Javier didn’t really want to talk to him. He knew Brian was worried about him. He hated every second of it, too. He didn’t want to bring others down when they had their own issues to deal with. From what Javier had interpreted, Brian and Raj were working out their issues that came from the weeks of the truth catastrophe. Brian seemed confident things would be alright, so Javier was happy for him and didn’t want to give him more stress to deal with by worrying about Javier. 

After the session ended, however, Brian asked Javier to join him in his office and he couldn’t exactly say no. 

“What did you want to talk about, Brian?” Javier asked as they walked into his office. He went and flopped onto the couch, stretching out, and Brian chuckled.

“Sure, make yourself at home.” Javier smirked and crossed his arms behind his head, but Brian didn’t laugh like he thought he might. Instead he just looked at him searchingly. Javier raised an eyebrow patiently and Brian sighed. “Javi, let’s talk.”

“Okay?” Javier asked, sitting up since it seemed serious.

Brian searched his face. “You’re not okay.” He was said simply and Javier almost got angry at that.

“No. I’m not. What is this about?” Javier asked slowly. 

Brian looked him right in the eyes. “Okay, fine. You’re miserable. You’re more miserable than I ever saw. You don’t have that spark and you don’t seem to be you. And we both know why.”

Javier clenched his jaw. “Yes. We do. But there’s nothing to be done about it.” He hung his head. “Brian, he isn’t coming back. You know this, right?”

Brian looked worried. “Oh? I didn’t know that.” Javier paled when he realized Brian didn’t know. “He’s going to quit?” he asked, and Javier nodded. Brian cursed. “God. What a fucking mess.” He shook his head. “It’s even worse than I thought, but even more of a reason to make sure you listen to me.” He looked at Javier closely. “Don’t make the wrong choice. Don’t let him slip through your grasp and take away your chance at true happiness.”

Javier did get angry this time. “Oh what bullshit is that?! You’re the one that reminded me that it’s wrong. I can’t date a skater. You were right, looking at it rationally, I can’t have that reputation, but you are the one who made me understand why I can’t be with him! What happened to ‘don’t let this ruin your chances at being a coach’?”

Brian smiled sadly. “I learned what it’s like to think I had lost Raj,” he said simply, and instantly Javier’s anger turned cold and he let his shoulders drop. “I’m not telling you to throw away your career. That’s stupid. You’re going to be an amazing coach and I don’t think giving it up for a man is the smart choice. But I also said what I said as someone in a comfortably solid relationship that has withstood eleven years of our lives together and I had no idea what it was like to even think about that changing.” He shook his head. “I’m one of the most successful coaches in the business, and I honestly think that at this point…” He trailed off, looking thoughtful before nodding. “Yeah. After getting a taste of what it’s like to think I lost him, I think I would quit. I’ve been a coach longer than I have been his partner, but he is truly my other half. I’m not the same man without him. I couldn’t ever be the same person, the same coach, or the same mentor without that half of who I am. My situation is different,” he added pointedly. “I’m not saying give up your dream of being a coach. I’m not saying you should go work somewhere else. I’m just saying, you should think of other options. You have seven years of building a relationship with him even if you weren’t dating the whole time. It’s something big,” he said gently. “Don’t let him go without thinking about your options. 

Javier swallowed thickly, looking at Brian. “I can think of several options, but all of them still have a risk of scandal. And most of them have a risk of failure.”

“I know,” Brian said, nodding. “But if you want me to back you to the higher ups, I will. I can lie again,” he said with a small grin. “I can tell them you two have been dating for the past three years in secret if I have to. I’m not sure it’ll save you from scandal, but it’s better than nothing.”

Javier nodded slowly. “I- I’ll think about it.” He groaned, scrubbing at his hair with his hands. “God, you’re right about the thought of losing him driving me insane. I can’t breathe sometimes it hurts so bad. I’m going to end up flying to Japan and begging him to let me love him.”

Brian hummed dismissively. “Well he isn’t leaving for Japan until tomorrow morning, so you do have options.”

Javier’s head raised quickly, and he took a sharp breath. “I’ve got to go, bye, thanks, seriously!”

As he ran out the door, he missed Brian sly smirk and fond shake of his head. 

~

When Javier got to Yuzuru’s house, Yumi answered his frantic knocking and looked thoroughly relieved and actually threw her arms out and hugged him, much to his shock. “Oh thank God,” she said using her mental magic again, since he heard her in Spanish. “Do not let him fuck up his life like this just because I did something terrible,” she pleaded. “I’ll leave so you guys don’t have to worry about talking in privacy. Seriously. Just do whatever you can do,” she begged, then without any hesitation stepped back into the entrance to put on her shoes and grab her purse and coat. He knew enough Japanese to understand her calling back, “Yuzuru, I’m going to run an errand. It will take a few hours. You have a visitor!” before she left. 

Javier walked inside and was nervous and uncomfortable when she locked the door behind her, just leaving him there to face Yuzuru alone. He toed off his shoes and walked towards where he heard Yuzuru respond from. He found a shut door and realized this was Yuzuru’s bedroom. He raised a hand to knock just as Yuzuru opened the door, eyes widening as he saw him. “I really expected Brian,” Yuzuru blurted out. “Why you here, Javi?” He looked tired when he asked, then opened the door. “I am packing. Make it fast.”

Javier’s heart ached and his stomach clenched at the sight of Yuzuru’s suitcase and his neatly folded clothes in it. “Brian made me realize something,” he blurted out, and Yuzuru hummed to show he was listening even as he folded another shirt. Javier took a pained breath and walked over, stilling his hands. Yuzuru looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. “Yuzuru, I love you.”

Yuzuru’s face grew dark. “I know this. You know I know this. Why you here, Javi?”

“Because I can’t lose you like this,” Javier said desperately. 

Yuzuru sighed, raising a hand to put over his face. “We already do this. You cannot be with me. I cannot be with you. It is how thing happen, Javi.”

Javier gently took both of Yuzuru’s hands and stepped back, guiding him to stand in the open room. “Brian made me realize that you and I have had a relationship built on seven years of understanding and growing together. The only thing we haven’t done in all that time is officially date, with kissing and sex and talking about it. We’ve been in love for so long and grown together as a pair.” Yuzuru looked even angrier at him for making it hurt more. “That isn’t something to just accept has to go away so you can continue competing and I can continue working with your coaching staff.”

“Javi, I am not-“

“So marry me,” Javier said firmly and confidently. He dropped to one knee, still holding Yuzuru’s hands even as Yuzuru went wide-eyed, slack jawed, and honestly looked pretty ridiculous. Javier kissed the backs of each of Yuzuru’s beautiful, delicate hands. “I didn’t have time to get a ring, but you can pick out whatever one you want.” He looked up at him lovingly. “Please, marry me.”

Yuzuru took a wheezy breath and flushed, spluttering as he shook his head. “You- this- you crazy!” he spat out, looking panicked. “You not think, you go crazy-“

“No, I’m thinking more clearly than ever,” Javier said hopefully. “If we are engaged, when Brian and I talk to the owners of the club about our relationship, it makes it clear this isn’t some scandal, it’s not just a coach taking advantage of a skater.” He squeezed Yuzuru’s hands gently. “It shows that this is a relationship that has been around longer than my coaching job. It shows them that this is real and started when we were on equal footing so there’s nothing inappropriate about it. And it’s not a lie,” he said with a faint laugh. “We didn’t have sex until I was your coach, but we had a deeper intimacy than I ever had with a girlfriend for years. We have had a romantic relationship. Just not a sexual one.”

Yuzuru looked at him as tears filled his eyes. “If I marry you, what if I lose sponsor? What if JSF get mad?”

Javier smiled tightly. “It’s a risk, yes. But you’re Yuzuru Hanyu. What can they do to the most popular skater in the history of the sport? I could still get fired, but this gives them less reason to do so.” He looked at him seriously. “I love you so much the thought of losing you is worse than anything that could happen to me. If you don’t feel the same, then you can say no. I just had to try,” he said almost desperately.

Yuzuru looked pained. “Do you really _want_ to marry me? Is this just way to try and keep me from going?”

Javier smiled slowly. “Oh, _Cari_ , being married to you would be a dream come true even if this wasn’t the situation to force it.”

Yuzuru closed his eyes and Javier watched the tears fall rapidly from beneath them. “Promise me. Promise me this is not just ‘act’. Promise you mean it. Promise you would ask this one day even if there is no problem.”

Javier squeezed his hands to make him open his eyes and meet his gaze. “I love you more than I knew how, Yuzuru Hanyu. Every day I cannot hold you in my arms is agony. Every time I make you laugh I feel more joy than I thought possible. The thought of spending the rest of my life with you as my partner, at my side through all our struggles, is the happiest future I can imagine. I will love you for the rest of my life even if you tell me to leave and never speak to you again, but I would prefer to love you for the rest of my life knowing that you are the true home of my heart.”

Yuzuru let out a soft gasp and giggled wetly. “Wow, that so romantic, Jabi. Who know you do poetry?” Javier gave him a desperate look and Yuzuru pursed his lips into that adorable little kitten smile of his. “Who cannot say yes to that proposing?”

Javier’s breath caught and he could feel how ridiculous the smile that crossed his face was. “Is that a yes?”

Yuzuru took a deep breath but nodded, smiling brightly. “Yes, Javi.”

“You’ll marry me?” Javier asked gleefully, and Yuzuru giggled and nodded.

“Yes, I marry you.” Javier surged to his feet, taking Yuzuru into a hug as he went, making him squeak in surprise as he lifted him off his feet and spun a few times. “Jabi!” he squealed, giggling as Javier peppered his face and neck with kisses.

“I love you, I love you, I love you. _Te amo_ Yuzu. _Mi vida. Te quiero Amor Mío_.” He chanted, giving up the fight against those tears of joy as they came.

Yuzuru giggled excitedly, holding Javier tight. “Javi, we get _married_!” he squeaked, pulling back from the onslaught of kisses to meet Javier’s eyes. He put a hand on the side of Javier’s face. “I get to keep Javi,” he breathed and Javier nodded, laughing wetly.

“You get to keep Javi forever,” he agreed, then kissed him, their lips melding together in a perfect, precious kiss. “Always and forever.”

~

Yuzuru should have known, with their chemistry, that those happy, tearful kisses of joy would become longer, and deeper, and that with just one heated look exchanged without words, Javier would sweep the suitcase and unpacked clothes off of Yuzuru’s bed and lower him onto it. 

He wasn’t complaining in the least, but he should have seen it coming.

Yuzuru arched, moaning as Javier flattened his tongue over Yuzuru’s nipple, swirling his tongue around it after a moment to really make him tremble. “Javi, Javi,” he panted, a hand in Javier’s curls. “Javi, fuck me,” he begged, voice breaking. “Oh, Javi, please Javi.”

“Anything,” Javier promised, kissing down his abs as he went. Yuzuru lifted his hips impatiently as Javier drug his sweatpants and briefs down and off. Yuzuru wasn’t interested in teasing. He knew they had time, but he wanted his fiancé inside of him now. 

_Fiancé_. Yuzuru smiled ridiculously at the thought that Javi was his fiancé now. Yuzuru had his first time with his fiancé and he would have his first time having actual intercourse with his fiancé, too. His joy was laced with arousal at the thought of Javi inside of him. Yuzuru might have been a virgin before that drunken fumble in Javier’s backseat, but he was twenty-four years old. He had the same needs anybody did. He just took care of them himself. He knew damn well he was going to enjoy Javier inside. He had never had more than his own fingers, but he was well-versed in how much pleasure he could have from that kind of attention. He had never had a sex toy, but he wanted one so bad sometime just because of how good his fingers felt. Now he got to have the _real thing_.

Yuzuru moaned when Javier kissed his thighs. “Javi,” he moaned. “Javi, please touch.”

Javier stroked his length slowly, making Yuzuru whine and arch. “God, I want to taste you,” Javier moaned. 

“Yes, yes, okay,” Yuzuru agreed. He knew Javier had never did a blowjob before, but he had never had one, so it was sure to be a fun experience for both of them. Therefore, he was shocked when Javier grabbed his thighs and pushed them up, spreading his legs wide. He gasped in shock, but immediately cried out as he felt something warm and wet press against his ass. “OH!” He cried out and whined, twisting as Javier _licked him open_. “Jabi, Jabi, Jabi!” he chanted, grabbing a handful of curls. He wasn’t sure if he wanted him to stop or never stop, because it felt so good but so _weird_. It got better – and he made his decision – when Javier gripped his ass and held him open with his thumbs as he really went at it, making the most disgustingly erotic slurping noises while he ate him out. 

Yuzuru had seen porn, okay. He knew people did that. He just never expected _Javi_ to be into it. He had a brief flush of jealousy because clearly some girl had Javi do this for her before, but that jealousy was overcome by pleasure when Javier gripped his length and stroked him absently while he pleasured him with his tongue.

Around the time Yuzuru was incoherent with pleasure coursing through his veins and felt at the verge of orgasm, Javier finally pulled away, and as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, getting the spit off his chin, Yuzuru nearly blacked out at the sexy sight. “Jabi. Come here,” he said, tugging at him until he crawled up Yuzuru’s body, kissing along the way. He rubbed his cock against Yuzuru’s hip, grunting some at the brief relief, and Yuzuru bit his lip, looking up at him with glassy, fucked out eyes, even though they weren’t at the fucking part yet. “Want Jabi to fuck me,” he panted.

Javier nodded, ducking to kiss along his jaw. “Anything for my fiancé,” he purred and Yuzuru moaned at the thought that this wasn’t just one time. He got to do sex with Javi _forever_. “Do you have-“

“There is bottle in suitcase,” he said, pointing at the suitcase Javi had knocked on the floor. Javier looked surprised and Yuzuru flushed. “I cannot let it be in box my _mother_ opens!” he stressed, and Javier snickered as he got off of Yuzuru and went to get the lube. He got it from the pocket Yuzuru indicated then came back to the bed. Yuzuru smirked, looking up at him under hooded eyes. “Jabi look sexy,” he said, looking over his fiance’s gorgeous body and thick, hard cock bobbing in front of him. Yuzuru sat up and shuffled to the edge of the bed. “Come,” he said, holding out a hand. Yuzuru shuffled to lay down on his belly, feet hanging off the other side of the bed, and when Javier got close enough, he grabbed Javi’s hand, kissed it, then guided it to his own hair, giving him a pointed look as he reached out for Javier’s cock, stroking it slowly. 

“Are you sure-“

“Javi,” Yuzuru said, silencing him. Javier stepped closer and Yuzuru stroked Javi a few times before looking at the exposed, shiny head of his cock and leaning in to lick at the bead of precum on the tip. He heard Javier’s groan and looked up at him, holding his eyes as he slid his mouth further over his cock. The taste was a little gross, but Yuzuru wasn’t going to complain, moaning at the feeling of the thick, hot cock in his mouth. He did what he had seen in porn before, bobbing his head up and down, sucking at Javi’s cock as he went. It was a little awkward, but what he liked was the way Javi moaned, looking down at him like he had just seen the best thing in the world. He preened a little because he knew it couldn’t be the best Javi ever had, but the fact Javi loved him and had probably fantasized about this very moment was something to make him a little cocky. He only stopped because he was getting impatient, wiping his chin as he looked up at Javi before he could complain about him stopping. “Javi want fuck me?” he asked with a challenging smirk. 

Javier’s eyes darkened and he smirked, nodding. “Oh, _Cari_ ,” he said in a teasing tone. He put a finger under Yuzuru’s chin and guided him to push himself up onto his knees, putting his face in distance for Javier to kiss him as he rested his palms on Javier’s warm, solid chest. Javier pecked his lips. “I’m going to make love to you so good you never think about another man, just me, always.”

Yuzuru giggled, wrapping his arms around Javier’s neck loosely. “Not hard, Javi. I only ever think about you really.”

Javier’s possessive mood softened some and he gripped Yuzuru’s waist, kissing him suddenly, making him moan from the deep, forceful kiss. “God, I fucking love you so much. How did I ever imagine I could give you up?” he asked, panting slightly as their foreheads touched. 

Yuzuru smiled lovingly, touching Javier’s scratchy jaw. “You do not must do this now. You will marry me now.”

Yuzuru giggled in surprise when Javier lowered him to the bed swiftly, kissing Yuzuru’s throat as he groaned. “Por Dios, Yuzuru. The things you do to me.” He wasted no time kissing Yuzuru again as he found the lube. He spread some on Yuzuru’s entrance, pressing it into him a bit, before pausing. “Shit. We don’t have condoms,” he said, looking worried.

Yuzuru rolled his eyes. “Javi, we get married. You think I want use condoms with husband?” he asked, and Javier’s face melted into the softest, most gentle look Yuzuru had ever seen.

“I’m going to be your husband,” he whispered with tears in his eyes. “God, I love you so much.”

Yuzuru beamed, tugging him into a kiss, sucking on his bottom lip teasingly. “I love you more if you fuck me,” he purred, and Javier wasted no time slicking himself up. 

“Don’t let me hurt you,” Javier warned, and Yuzuru just smirked teasingly, plucking at a curl.

“You think I never play with ass? It okay, you will not hurt me,” he said, and Javier’s eyes darked with arousal and he wasted no time pressing the tip into Yuzuru. Yuzuru moaned as he slipped inside, eyes rolling back as he shut them and bit his lip. He knew it wouldn’t be the most comfortable thing, having something far deeper inside of him than he ever could reach, but he didn’t lie when he told Javi it didn’t hurt as he slowly filled him. It was pressure more than he was used to, but as relaxed as he was after Javier ate his ass like it was his duty to make Yuzuru’s legs quiver, he wasn’t tensing against the intrusion, just letting it in. 

Javier held still once he was deep inside, and Yuzuru stroked the curls at the base of his neck, eyes a little hazy as he held his gaze. “So big,” he muttered, and he saw a flicker of pride in Javier’s eyes. He grinned. “Such ‘man’. You so much ego over big penis.” He tugged at that curl to chastise him.

“If it hurts-“

“Mmm,” Yuzuru denied. “It not hurt. Just- just much.” He wiggled his hips a big, whimpering. “So much,” he whimpered. He tugged Javi down. “Kiss,” he demanded, and Javier did so, confident Yuzuru’s flexibility made it easy for him to put his legs that way. The kiss helped him relax into the feeling of so much inside of him. He stroked Javier’s shoulders as he held him, sighing into the kiss. This man was his fiancé and his fiancé was making love to him. Just the thought made Yuzuru shiver with pleasure. “Javi move now,” he whispered, and Javier nodded, gently reaching down to hold Yuzuru’s thigh as he pulled out and thrust back in very slowly, easing Yuzuru into the feeling. Yuzuru was grateful he had such an attentive fiancé. 

Before long, however, the slow pace was maddening. Yuzuru moaned and arched, meeting Javier’s thrusts, but he never sped up, just kept teasing him until Yuzuru’s body was on fire. Javier knew what he was doing, though, because he kept smirking with ever pouty whine Yuzuru gave. It wasn’t until he shifted and Yuzuru cried out, tensing up at the direct stimulation to his prostate, that Javier relented and pulled out further and really thrust. Yuzuru had been strung along so long and built to a shaking pleasure by just the friction of sex that the thrusts to his prostate made him positively shake and whine and cry out. As Javier’s speed increased and he kissed and licked his throat, whispering his love and how good he felt into Yuzuru’s ear, Yuzuru thrashed in his hold, feeling more pleasure than his body knew how to handle. “You okay-“

“Fuck me, fuck me, Javi, yes!” Yuzuru pleaded, arching and moaning. “Oh fuck, Jabi, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted, not caring how filthy his language was as he shivered like he was falling apart. He could barely see his pleasure was so great. He clawed at Javier’s shoulders out, crying out as Javier’s thrusts grew harder and faster, his body tensing beneath Yuzuru’s fingertips. 

“Goddamn, you feel so fucking good. So tight for me. So fucking hot,” Javier growled, sitting back on his knees to grip Yuzuru’s hips and fuck him hard and fast, making Yuzuru positively wail and reach down to grip his cock. “That’s right, come for me. Come on my cock, Yuzu, please, _Mi vida_ , let me see how good I make you feel. How good I’ll make you feel for the rest of our lives-“

“Javi!” Yuzuru wailed, squeezing Javier’s wrist on his hip as he came, shaking and crying as he made a mess of his abdomen, some of it even getting up to his chest. “I love you, I love you,” he cried as the waves of pleasure kept coming.

“Fuck yes,” Javier growled, picking him up to hold him on his lap, hips snapping into Yuzuru as Yuzuru clung to him, legs tight around him and nails digging into his shoulders as he sobbed from the pain/pleasure of the continued stimulation after he had come. Yuzuru let out a startled cry as he felt _another_ orgasm shaking his body, and his body was so spent he couldn’t even scream, he just clung to Javi, shuddering as his mouth hung open in a silent wail. “Fuck, Yuzuru, God I fucking love you, you perfect fucking- FUCK!” Javier cried out and Yuzuru gasped, shaking with his face in the crook of Javier’s neck as he felt Javier pulse hot inside of him, filling him up. 

When Javier’s grip slackened some, Yuzuru fell backwards out of his arms, landing on the bed with a gasping cry at the rushed pulling out. “Crap, sorry,” Javier panted, grabbing his thigh to rub it in apology. “Shit, are you okay?”

Yuzuru tugged at his own hair, panting as he tried to make sense of up and down. “I- I- Jabi-“ He moaned helplessly as a post-orgasm shudder wracked his body. “Oh my God I think I died.”

Javier chuckled and moved to lay beside him, wrapping his arms around Yuzuru, ignoring his protests at how disgusting Yuzuru was as he cuddled him close. “You’re not dying.”

Yuzuru flopped his head over to look at Javier’s chin on his shoulder. “Javi. I orgasm _twice_ ,” he said, and Javier looked startled. 

“Wait, that thing where you tensed up again-“

“Yes,” Yuzuru said, then giggled ridiculously at the hungry look in Javi’s eyes. “Oh my God, you so dirty,” he said, poking him in the cheek. “You just fuck me so much I almost die and you horny again?”

“I’m always horny for you,” Javier informed him, kissing his cheek. “My heart is horny for you, too.”

“Ew,” Yuzuru whined, pushing his face away. “Icky, Jabi.”

“Mmmm, I would say two orgasms means you are horny for me, to, Cari,” he purred, kissing his shoulder. He slid a hand down Yuzuru’s body and Yuzuru squirmed when he traced his fingers through the mess on Yuzuru’s stomach. “Watching you come all over yourself is so hot.”

“You are disgusting,” Yuzuru teased, though he smiled and blushed anyways.

Javier smirked and dipped his hand down further, going between Yuzuru’s legs. Yuzuru whined, grabbing his wrist to stop him from exploring very sensitive territory, but he couldn’t stop him from swiping a finger across his upper thigh. “Seeing proof I came inside you is hot, too.”

Yuzuru scoffed. “It very good I am not girl then, you dirty man,” he said, and Javier smirked and winked.

“What? You wouldn’t have my babies if you were a woman?”

“No, pervert,” Yuzuru said, elbowing Javier from outrage. “So dirty. Why I am marrying such a dirty man?”

Javier melted and he wrapped Yuzuru up in a hug, clinging to him. “Because I’m a dirty man who loves you so, so much. I cannot wait to marry you.”

Yuzuru’s heart fluttered and he shifted around, hugging him right back. He pressed their foreheads together, looking into his fiancé’s eyes. “I cannot wait to marry you, too, Jabi.”

~

When Javier shuffled into the kitchen wearing borrowed clothes that were far too small for him and a sheepish grin, Yumi just threw a relieved look to the heavens, thankful that whatever power existed out there had saved her son from her wrongdoings. 

When Yuzuru asked if she wanted to come with them to go ring shopping later, because Javier asked him to marry him and he said yes, she decided as horrible as her actions had been, it really had been worth it for her part. She was guilty and should not have intervened, but she was a mother who loved her child more than life itself.

And watching that child giddy as he danced around a jewelry store hand in hand with the love of his life to try and pick the most perfect engagement rings ever was the best sight she had ever seen in her whole life, knowing her baby was happy and had found the man who would keep making him happy for the rest of his life. 

Yumi Hanyu may not be perfect, she realized, but the love her son had with his future husband was as close to perfect as was possible.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Alternate Scene for Filterless- Chapter 6](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18104579) by [3ALover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ALover/pseuds/3ALover)




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